Love is not always the best reason to marry someone. There are many other aspects of a person and relationship to look at before you decide to take this big step in your life. This article outlines ten reasons why you probably shouldn’t marry your boyfriend.
1. He is spending himself into debt
If your boyfriend is already in debt, this could be a warning sign of things to come, especially if he’s not working himself out of the debt. If he doesn’t care about his debt and is only getting himself further into debt, this is not something you should marry into. Once you get married, his debt will become your debt, too. If he spends your family into debt, you will not have the security of saving for retirement, emergencies, and college funds. Remember, the way your boyfriend spends money will affect you as well once you’re married.
2. Honesty Lacks In The Relationship
I think we can all agree that any great relationship is based on honesty. If you are uncomfortable sharing your thoughts and dreams with him, and if he is hiding a part of his life from you, the topic of marriage shouldn’t even come up. You can’t spend a lifetime afraid to express your feelings or wondering if he is straightforward with you. Marriage should be a commitment between two best friends, who hide nothing from each other no matter how awful it may be.
3. He is Controlling
A man, who wants to control every aspect of your life, might propose just to gain a firmer hold on your life. If your man is constantly dictating every aspect of your life and discouraging you from seeing your family and friends while you are dating, this is a red flag. Once you are married, and his “property” the isolation from family and friends will only increase until there is no contact with them. You have to be able to recognize the signs and avoid this nightmare. A proposal should be an act of unconditional love, not from the fear of losing you.
4. He Can’t Hold a Job
I don’t know about you, but I do not want a man that I have to support. I am not a sugar momma. If your man cannot hold a job or is not working toward a career, don’t enter into marriage with him. Of course, we all have had jobs that don’t work out, but if your man is constantly being fired or quitting jobs, you will probably be financially supporting him throughout the marriage. Remember there may be times when you can’t work due to pregnancy and childbirth, and if he can’t (or won’t) keep a job think about the predicament you will be in.
5. He Has an Alcohol or Drug Problem
If you are dating a man with an alcohol or drug problem, under no circumstances should you marry this man. No matter how much you love him marriage should never come up while he is addicted to any mind altering substance. Marriage to a substance abuser will hold nothing but heartache for you. You cannot fix or save him from himself, only he can do that, but you can save yourself the financial ruin and misery of marrying a man with an addiction problem.
6. You Fight Constantly
If you can’t settle your differences without engaging in full blown arguments and fights, now is not the time to get married. In fact, you will probably fight even more once you have the security of marriage. It is often said that your relationship is the best it is ever going to be when you are dating. Marriage is hard, even when you both love each other deeply and are committed to treating each other kindly. Learn how to work out your conflicts without resorting to fighting before you agree to get married.
7. He plays games all day
Gaming is fine as a hobby, but if your boyfriend does it while he should be looking for a job or helping out around the house, this is not acceptable. Some people think they are saving the world when they are gaming. It becomes as important to them as a real job. Your boyfriend might claim to be busy, but all he’s doing is playing a game while you cook, clean, and work full-time at your job. Even if your boyfriend works a full-time job, if his gaming is coming before going out together as a couple and enjoying the real world, there is a problem.
8. You don’t go out on dates anymore
If you don’t go on dates and spend quality time with each other while you’re still officially dating, you definitely won’t go on dates once you’re married. If you want to have a life where you and your husband still date and spend quality time regularly, you have to get back into the habit now. If it isn’t something your boyfriend is into, you have to think about whether you can handle a life of never going on dates with your loved one again.
9. He proposed via text or email
Don’t excuse this behavior as being the modern way of doing things, it’s not. A proposal should always be something done in person, unless the other person is away fighting in a war or something equally important. Don’t lower your expectations because you hear that proposals are becoming lamer or non-existent.
10. He hasn’t met your family
You shouldn’t marry someone who won’t meet your family. There is no excuse these days for not meeting someone’s family. Even if your family lives far away, there are video chats, email and social networking sites they can meet through. This is a serious warning sign if your partner doesn’t want to meet or always setup road blocks to meeting your family. He should make every effort to meet your family before you get married.
Deciding to marry someone is a huge step in your life. You want to make sure it’s the right person. Look at your boyfriend’s actions today, and you’ll get a glimpse of what life will be like in the future. Don’t expect things to get better just because you have rings on your fingers.
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