10 Ways to Control Your Jealousy

It is easy to be jealous if you are dating a jerk who gives you every reason to be, but the green-eyed monster can rear it’s ugly head in even the best of relationships. If you have a great guy in your life who hasn’t done anything but show you respect and honesty, but you still have jealousy tendencies, it is time to take the bull by the horns.

No guy wants to have a jealous girlfriend, and being too controlling is a great way to send him fleeing. Here are 10 ways to keep your jealousy under control and enjoy your wonderful boyfriend.

#1. Banish the Ghost of Relationships Past
Many men feel that they are being punished for something another guy did. If you are like most women, you probably have a few bad relationships in your past. Do not let those past failures wreck your current success. Let go of those old ghosts and enjoy the great guy you have now.

#2. Treat Yourself to a Me Day
It is easy to be jealous if you feel dowdy and unattractive. The next time you feel the jealousy monster start to rear its ugly head, take time to treat yourself. Whether you splurge on a spa day and a massage or just give yourself a makeover, you will feel better about yourself and your relationship.

#3. Engage in Positive Affirmations
You do not have to be a new age guru to benefit from a positive affirmation here and there. Just telling yourself that you are valuable and loved can keep your jealousy at bay and help you enjoy your relationship more. You are a great person – if you weren’t, your boyfriend wouldn’t be here in the first place.

#4. Sometimes a Phone is Just a Phone
The smartphone is a source of jealousy in so many relationships. When your boyfriend picks up his phone, is he really checking in at work, or is he checking out other women online. Sometimes a phone is just a phone – unless your boyfriend has given you reason to doubt his loyalty, give him some space and stop looking over his shoulder.

#5. Know Your Triggers
You cannot control something until you know what causes it. Learn to spot the things that make you jealous, whether it is your boyfriend taking a furtive glance at your best friend or him spending too much time online. Learning to separate the real causes for concern from emotional overreactions is the key here.

#6. Understand He’s Still a Guy
Men and women are wired differently. That does not give your boyfriend free rein or excuse him giving into his baser instincts, but you can still forgive an occasional glance or inappropriate comment. You do not need to be jealous of every look. You may even catch yourself looking at a hot guy from time to time, so don’t be a hypocrite.

#7. Do Some Soul Searching
If your boyfriend is a jerk, the jealousy you feel is probably about him. If you have a great guy who truly cares about you, the jealousy you feel is most likely about you and your insecurities. Do some soul searching to find the root cause of the problem, then address those issues head on.

#8. Be a Good Communicator
Communication is the key to any good relationship. You do not have to talk about every little thing, but you do need to keep the lines of communication open. If you and your boyfriend are not communicating effectively, jealousy will expand and fill that space.

#9. Bring Back the Passion
It is easy to be jealous when the spark has gone out of your relationship. If you and your boyfriend are in a rut, look for ways to recharge your relationship and breathe new life into your passion. Leave love notes on the bathroom mirror before you leave for work. Send him a dozen roses at work. Meet him at the door wearing his favorite negligee. There are plenty of ways to bring the heat – and the fun – back to your relationship.

#10. Give Him His Space
When he talks about a boys’ night out, you immediately picture strippers and lap dances, but he could just be talking about a few beers after work. Stop jumping to conclusions and give him some space. Your relationship will be the better for it.

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