Like the song says, love is a battlefield.
But love can be worth it if you put effort into keeping the relationship alive. However, sometimes it’s time to wave the white flag. This doesn’t mean you failed. Instead, breaking up to find someone who’s right for you means you’re brave and empowered.
Keep in mind that most of the items on this list are by no means set in stone—these things vary from couple to couple. But no matter what, the following 16 signs you may want to break up are worth paying attention to.
1. The sex is as appealing as a dentist appointment.
Long term relationships all have their ups and downs. There are times when you want to have sex with this person constantly, only to take breaks to refuel the passion. Other times, your sex drive packs up and goes on sabbatical, leaving you feeling the opposite.
But if being with someone makes your skin crawl, or your libido is interested in other people, the basis of attraction that keeps the relationship going may have left for good.
2. They’re unsupportive in front of family, or vice versa.
If he’s too afraid to stand up for you in front of his family, then you don’t know if he’s going to stand with you at all. Usually, this is something that’s non-negotiable if it’s someone you truly care about, otherwise don’t stick around. It won’t be worth it feeling like he’s ashamed of you constantly.
3. They’re abusive.
Whether it’s physical or emotional, it’s devastating, and no one deserves to be in that kind of relationship. You deserve to be happier. Get help and get out.
4. They’re not abusive, but they’re constantly mean.
When someone constantly makes you feel bad about yourself (even if they don’t mean to) they’ve got to go. Being single is better than being with someone who is dragging you down all the time.
5. You’ve got opposite goals.
Compromising exists for a reason, but when you want wildly different things in life, one person might have to give up too much to be really happy.
6. Everyone is telling you to dump them.
If it’s for superficial reasons, feel free to ignore friends and family. But if you’ve got a nagging feeling their concerns are valid, then it might be time to listen to their advice. After all, they know you the best and want the best for you.
7. Their everyday habits bother you.
While it’s normal to drive each other a little nuts sometimes, if their little quirks only bring on a flood of rage, that’s not a pleasant way for either of you to live!
8. You’re constantly nervous they’ll cheat on you
Maybe they strayed before, or you’re worried because they’re acting suspiciously. Either way, you don’t need to feel insecure all the time about whether they’re faithful or not. If you feel it’s your own insecurities, then talk it out to see if it’s something you both can work through. If there’s someone else’s underwear in their bed, then scram.
9. You want to travel on your own.
Sometimes we just want some solo time to find ourselves, and settling down before then doesn’t feel right. Your timing may be off because you don’t think you’ve finished ‘growing’ as a person. Take a breather and know if the relationship is right, you’ll come back together. If not, you’ll find someone who’s more evolved for you.
10. You disagree about children.
Whether you want kids or not, if you can’t agree on this fundamental part of your future, then something’s got to give.
11. Being with them makes you bored.
You can’t have thrills all the time, but a relationship completely devoid of any fun isn’t going to be fun to be in. If it’s a long-term relationship, there will be periods where you don’t have a lot of sex, which ideally means you like spending time together outside of the bedroom. Regular excitement is important too.
12. You’re always fighting about the same things.
Fights seem to be necessary for relationships, but the idea is to grow from them and become a stronger couple. If you’re just reliving the same arguments over and over, it’s possibly a sign that there are some issues you might be unable to overcome. Or it’s a clue that they might be too big for you to handle by yourselves, so you can seek the help of a couple’s therapy to help you deal with it.
13. You think it’ll work out if one of you changes.
You can’t change someone; it’s going to be a recipe for disaster. As will trying to change who you are to make them happy. While you should be on a quest to improve yourself, it’s hard to make the changes stick if they’re not for yourself.
14. You’re riding a constant emotional roller coaster.
It’s easy to confuse fight drama from actual passion, but they’re not the same. If you’re routinely going from relationship high and lows enough that you get whiplash, you both might need something more stable, or be single.
15. You can’t stand each other’s friends.
You should both have your own friends, and you don’t need to be fond of them all the time, but if you’d like to ship the whole bunch of them off the planet, it’s a bad sign.
16. Your gut is telling you it’s time to end the relationship.
Women’s intuition is not a joke. Even if you can’t put your finger on what exactly is off, simply knowing something’s not right is enough. – C. Sky