How close is too close?
We’re in an enlightened age when it comes to gender stereotypes so we know it’s okay to have friendships with the opposite sex. Whether they’re co-workers, casual friends, or close confidantes.
But how close is too close, when you’re supposed to be in a relationship with someone else?
Here’s some signs that you’re friendships might be getting into the gray area of emotional infidelity:
1. You dress up for him. When you buy new clothes or change your hairstyle and wonder what he’ll think (instead of how your partner will react) that’s a danger sign. We all consider our audience when we’re primping to go out, but doing so with a particular other in mind — not your significant other — suggests there’s something more here than meets the eye.
2. You lie to your significant other about seeing the other man. Perhaps you fail to mention an innocent coffee you had with the other man you’re attracted to. You consider it just a small omission, not a real lie. Maybe you even tell yourself you just forgot to mention it. Oops! If this is the case, you must ask yourself what you’re hiding from your partner and why.
3. You do special things for the other man that you don’t do for others. You give him that cute card that perfectly captures how you feel about your “friendship,” or the little knickknack from your last trip which you imagine him placing on his desk. It seems innocent enough, but these are little reminders of you and invitations for him to reciprocate. What are your true intentions about this relationship and this person?
4. You’re spending more and more time away from your significant other. Late nights at the office are starting to add up. Long lunches are becoming routine. When you really think about it, you can see you’re trying to increase your opportunity to spend time with the other man at the expense of time spent with your significant other. What is all this time with him really about?