Stop knocking quickies!
There’s been a lot of discussion on how foreplay can be essential to keeping the sex exciting for both you and your partner, but there’s still something appealing about going for a quickie.
And it’s easy for them to get a cold shoulder.
Maybe they’re not the key to opening your heart deeply to someone, but they don’t take the same hours of planning, foreplay, and communication either.
And sometimes you don’t want to think, and you just want to be pushed up against a wall, or some other convenient surface, and had your partner have their way with you like some heated romance novel.
Maybe you and your partner are about to go to work, and the mood strikes you. Maybe they walk past you while you’re reading, and it’s in such a way that goes straight to your senses.
Or maybe you haven’t seen each other for nearly a week (or longer?), and you just want to be with them RIGHT NOW.
The reasons don’t matter. Quickies can be amazing.
Extended foreplay can be too but let us convince you to occasionally skip it. Here are the top three reasons you should consider adding quickies to your repertoire.
1. The absence of foreplay can be itself foreplay.
Imagine this: You step your way up to a ridiculously high-quality buffet where everything has been cooked by a world class chef.
Either you have three hours to browse, sample, and nibble on everything that’s available to you. It’s amazing, and you feel very fortunate. In the end, you’re satisfied and full.
That’s what an extended night of sex should feel like. It’s something both you, and your partner can do to savor the experience.
Or, scenario two, you have access to all of the same, high-quality food, but there’s a timer going, and you’ve only got five minutes to stuff your face with the deliciousness. You don’t get cutlery or plates even. Just got to use your hands to cram everything in there.
While the second scenario is more likely to leave you a little less satisfied, it’s still going to be amazing to your taste buds.
That’s the nature of the quickie. No planning, no napkins. Probably not a lot of manners. Just a pleasure free for all.
2. It’s easier to be selfish.
Quickies are in a sense, more honest, as you can get real and raw with your needs. Again with the gourmet analogy. If you only have five minutes to grab what appeals to you most, you’re going to have an easier time being forthcoming and assertive with your desires.
Grab the part of their body you love the most. Touch yourself where you need to be touched to finish quickly. Put your lips on them and be greedy about it.
Being selfish can be healthy. This is assuming you already know their boundaries, and you both respect each other; you’re allowed to take what you want within present parameters. If the food is on the table and ready to be taken, shove whatever you want into your craving, wet mouth.
3. Quickies can help reconnect what you both find appealing about each other.
If the majority of your sexual play is a 10 to 20 formulaic pattern, or a 2 to 4 hour extended exploration style, then you might have had ample time to get used to each other, and take one another for granted.
There can be something extremely sexy about objectifying your long-term partner. This doesn’t mean you’re demeaning them. Taking a cue from the BDSM community, it’s absolutely possible to perceive your partner as an object, but still respect them as a person, because you find all of them attractive.
Let’s be real, you’re not thinking about your partner’s morals in the middle of intercourse. In the heat of the moment, you’re just thinking about getting off as quick as possible. It’s a beautiful thing. I mean really, is there anything more romantic than that?
Quickies are great. They are a totally healthy part of any sexual relationship. Not to mention the bevy of health benefits from having regular sex (reduced risk of prostate cancer, healthier skin, better sleep, increased creativity, and overall heart health, just to name a few). On the relationship front, increased sexual frequency also correlates with better communication, and more highly ranked overall relationship satisfaction for both men and women.
So give quickies a shot… especially if it’s been a while since your last one.
Do it in the morning upon waking. When they’ve just gotten out of the shower (or while they’re in the shower). Or when one of you is about to go off to work for the day.
I would say put it on your calendar and “make time” for it… but even that is barely necessary. – C. Sky