Wouldn’t it be great if you could actually control the quality of men and relationships that come into your life? As amazing as that sounds, it’s not some impossible super-power to have, but an ability you can easily develop.
Just imagine what it would be like not to keep dating the same losers over and over, or waste any more of your time and energy over another toxic relationship.
It’s all possible – all you need to do is cultivate the right mental habits to make it happen.
#1: Make a Deliberate Effort to Find Mr. Right
I’d like you to do something for me – take a second to think about all the success you already have in your life. Ask yourself: how did you pull off all those goals you set out in the past, and how did you prepare for it?
The reason why I’m asking you is because everything you’ve achieved in your life didn’t just happen by accident.
In other words, it was pre-meditated. Almost everything that happens to us in the present is based on the choices we made in the past, whether we’re aware of it or not.
Think of a project you tackled at work or in your personal life. Chances are you mapped out your goals, then FOCUSED on a plan to make them happen.
This is why you need to make the same conscious effort when it comes to dating. If you’ve been experiencing lackluster results with guys, it’s possible that you’re not FOCUSING hard enough on what you really want.
And when you haven’t really envisioned a tangible scenario in your mind, you’ll end up with just about any man – and relationship – that won’t necessarily be right for you.
As a result, you’ll be dissatisfied and forever plagued with the feeling that something’s “lacking” in your life.
So, the key to enjoying a successful dating life is about FOCUSING on a clear, concise concept of your ideal man.
This is a CRUCIAL part of being truly happy with the results you end up with. Otherwise, not having a deliberate goal will send you down a road you don’t want to be on.
#2: Acknowledge What’s Holding You Back
Interestingly enough, a lot of my female clients have had trouble acknowledging this need for clarity in their relationship goals. In fact, most of them were afraid of having these goals because they thought it was “unrealistic”.
I understand where this hesitation is coming from; haven’t we all been afraid of going after what we really want?
In the back of our heads, we try to shield ourselves from failure by not labeling our desires – let alone acting on them.
But here’s the thing: getting over that initial “I’m afraid of saying what I want” hurdle will benefit you immensely.
Why is that? Well, creating a set of goals will make it way EASIER for you to make them happen.
Fear of the unknown can stop someone in their tracks. The best way to move forward is to take those goals out of the abstract and put them into definite writing.
That way, you’ll realize that going after your desires isn’t such a scary concept after all.
#3: Stay on Target
Think of your goals as a dartboard. Notice how you’re more inclined to hit the center because of that big, red bulls-eye in the middle?
If it weren’t there, you’d have less of a reason to aim for the center, wouldn’t you? You’d probably be ok with hitting everything else other than the dartboard and tell yourself, “That’s good enough”.
But the truth is that it’s NOT good enough. So here’s what I’m trying to say: having that mental bulls-eye in dating is about coming to terms with what you TRULY want in a man.
This is the best way to avoid “missing the mark” and unconsciously date guys who aren’t a good match for you.
For instance, being aware that you want someone who’s honest, reliable and consistent means you’ll actively avoid flaky men. It’s this kind of thinking that will help you weed out the wrong guys and start attracting more potential Mr. Rights in your life.
#4: Visualize Your Dream Guy
Here’s a powerful exercise to make your relationship goals crystal clear: Think of all the ideal characteristics of your Mr. Right and put it down into writing.
Then, I want you to make another list, but this time with the deal breakers that would NOT make you want to date a man.
However, don’t go out and start dating the next guy just yet. After you’ve come up with your dating manifesto, you still need to do a little more soul-searching.
Sleep on it, then revisit your ideal characteristics and deal breakers – do ALL of those need to be there?
Chances are you can cross off some of those items, or change them at the very least.
For instance, maybe you indicated that your Mr. Right needs to be knowledgeable about pop culture or is a big book-reader like you. Is that REALLY something you need, or would you also be happy if he was, at the very least, supportive of your interests?
Once you use this “filter” to go through your ideal qualities and deal breakers, you’ll find that your initial concept of Mr. Right might not be that focused or definite as it is NOW.
And this is an important step in figuring out what you really want out of your partner-to-be. Not everything that you think will make you happy will actually do the trick.
It’s also important to note that what you need in a guy will change over time. As you get older and more experienced, you’ll find that your set of ideal qualities will evolve along the way.
That said, don’t be afraid to update your relationship goals when necessary as you meet new guys. This is the best way to keep dating men who’ll fit your standards – while keeping the others out.
By attracting high-quality guys, dating will become an infinitely more satisfying experience for you.
If you need a little help developing your own desirable qualities and increase your success rate even MORE, I suggest checking out my Irresistible Desire Course. After all, knowing what you want in a guy isn’t enough.
You also have to figure out what men want too, and I’ve got the solution to that right HERE.