Jackie has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for two years. She thought everything was going great until one day the cookie just crumbled. Their relationship turned sour and to this day she has no clue what went wrong. If only there as a sign that something was wrong.
Now ladies, sometimes breakups happen when we least expect them to but here’s the deal:
A relationship doesn’t end when the breakup happens; it ends much earlier than that. All those fights, those disagreements are just signs that there was a problem in the relationship that should have been addressed before things got way out of hand.
- Having sex too soon
Here’s why you should wait before your first romp in the bedroom:
Men don’t fall in love as quickly as we would like them to. They have to first invest emotionally in the relationship before they can decide you are the one. This rarely happens when you have sex with a man before he can invest emotionally in the relationship. That’s why it’s so hard to change a friend with benefits relationship into a long term serious relationship.
The good thing about waiting before having sex with a guy is that it will help you weed out the players from the serious guys.
So how long should you wait? Relationship experts recommend couples should wait at least 3-6 months before getting physical. Most players aren’t willing to wait that long. A guy looking for a serious relationship will wait.
- You are both dealing with issues from the past
If you are still dealing with emotional issues from your past, then you have no business getting into a relationship in the first place. Same case applies to men. If you get into a relationship with a man who is still carrying emotional baggage around, you won’t be happy unless you are willing to do one thing:
Help him deal with it.
Remember that we talked about dating the emotionally unavailable guy earlier on and we also talked about signs of an emotionally unavailable guy. A guy who is still carrying around emotional baggage from previous relationships is emotionally unavailable. If you are willing to date such a guy, then you have to be willing to replace bad memories from his past relationships with good memories from your current relationship.
- Lies and infidelity
Lying and cheating happens when you put your needs above the needs of the relationship and also when your needs are not being met. So what should you do when you discover that your beau has been lying and cheating on you? We’ll use Lady Gaga’s quote:
“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken but you will forever see the crack in the reflection”
Best advice: if your man lied and cheated on you then you should leave him ASAP. Why? Because if he did it once he will do it again. And, no matter how hard you try, once you lose trust in him, your relationship will never be the same again.
- Too many demands
When you place too many demands on your boyfriend, your relationship will eventually turn sour. Similarly, if he expects too much from you, you will feel over burdened and eventually quit the relationship. So how do you deal with too many demands in your relationship?
If it’s your beau that’s placing too many demands on you, you can either leave him or inspire him to become a better man. If you are the one who is too demanding, you should give him a break and find ways to re-balance the relationship.
- Making comparisons
Is he comparing you to his former girlfriends or are you comparing him to your former boyfriends? If any of you are making comparisons to former lovers then that’s just a recipe for disaster. Instead of nitpicking on each other’s flaws, maybe it’s time you started appreciating your positive traits.
If you see any of the above signs in your relationship, you should take action as quickly as possible. Don’t let small issues in your relationship manifest into full blown problems. The last thing you want is to spend thousands of dollars going for couples counseling or waste time going through a breakup when all you have to do is address your relationship issues as soon as they appear. written by Jackie K.
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