Nice, for a lot of women, has become synonymous with things like boring, passive, and unromantic.
Or worse, women can be suspicious of guys for having ulterior motives or being “fake” nice guys. Instead of pushing real nice guys to try harder, this is instead perpetuating the old saying of “nice guys finish last.”
It’s unclear how this happened. Are the popular 80s and 90s RomComs to blame, where the cool nerdy guy rarely got the girl? Is it because popular culture and even social media have made a whole “strong versus weak” men argument?
Take Scandal, for instance, Fitz is seen as the weak one because everything is handed to him, but Jake has struggled harder and killed people so he’s obviously the better partner when in reality Olivia should dump both those jerks and move on.
Or is it biology? Women being neurologically in tuned to looking for traits in men that will ensure their offspring will be good looking, provided for, and protected? (Good looking being equivalent to healthy, in this case, when as we know now with better medical knowledge, that’s not always the case, but it could be how we’re hardwired nonetheless.)
Is media really to blame, or have women simply taken Hollywood’s version of the bad boy/strong male and combined it with our biology’s version of what those qualities make in good mates?
Whatever the reason is, women have gotten it all wrong, and nice guys are getting a bad rap for it. This means that both men and women are losing out because of it.