You’ve met someone amazing, you’ve fallen for him, and you couldn’t be more certain that he is the one for you. The only complication is that you are already in a relationship with someone else. While you may be seriously thinking about leaving your partner for the new man in your life, there are certain serious questions that you need to ask yourself before making this life-changing decision.
1) What led to this new attachment?
The most important question to ask yourself is how you came to form this bond with someone other than your primary partner. While it may seem as though the connection developed because this man truly is unusually compatible with you (and this might indeed even be true), it is vital to consider what state your primary relationship was in before you became attracted to someone new. Have you and your partner grown apart? Are you going through a particularly rough patch after a loss or another difficult life experience? Were you right on the cusp of a major life decision, such as whether to get married or have children?
Any or all of these issues could mean that your new attraction has more to do with your preexisting relationship than it does with the individual you’ve fallen for. If you’re considering leaving your partner for him, then you must at least be willing to ask yourself hard questions about whether he was just in the right place at the right time. If this crisis in your life has more to do with your relationship with your partner than it does with the unique qualities of your new love, the new relationship is unlikely to last.
2) Will the reality match the fantasy?