Abuse comes in different forms. Sometimes it’s obvious. Sometimes it’s subtle.
If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve begun to question certain aspects of a potential or current relationship. People that you trust may have been pointing out signs that you’re having a difficult time facing.
Below is a list we’ve compiled to showcase some immediate signs of an abusive relationship. If any of these sounds familiar, then it might be best if you take action to end or slow down your relationship and reassess.
1. The relationship moves too fast.
One sign of an abusive relationship is that your partner will push things to move more quicker than normal. They’ll behave intense in the beginning. They’ll want to spend the night with you right away and suggest you move in together after just a short time.
If you are unsettled with the swift pace they are moving at, this is likely a warning sign.
2. There’s a jealousy problem.
Someone who is abusive will make it clear early in that they’ve got a jealousy problem, far from what is healthy. This will just escalate, and they may include relationships from the past which are long over. They may also take up stalking, such as watching your house, following you on social media, and checking your phone.
3. They need to control the money.
An abuser often wants to control all aspects of money, whether they make their own or not. They might expect you to foot the bill for everything but if you want to spend on anything, they will either control it or outright forbid it altogether. This eventually extends to other areas in the relationship, as well as your personal affairs, as well.
4. They want to keep you isolated.
Another big tip off of an abuser is if they want you to spend less and less time with friends and family. Eventually, they want to cut you off from everyone entirely.
5. Passing the blame around.
An abuser will blame others for their actions and never accept responsibility. It doesn’t matter what it is, or if the fault is obviously their own, every spin their stories have is with the blame firmly on others. Even if they got in trouble with the law.
6. Confusing comments.
One final sign of an abusive relationship is a phenomenon called “gaslighting.” It’s basically a form of mind control where the abuser confuses the victim by leading them to believe it’s all their fault. Not only is this not true, but it also sets the precedent for more control and mental abuse. Sadly, this can lead to physical abuse.
That said, just because someone does not hit you does not mean that you are not being abused.
If some or all of these signs of an abusive relationship are present in your current relationship or one that you are considering, then you need to make plans to end this now.
If you are not sure if your relationship is abusive or need someone outside your situation to talk to, The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They can also be reached at Thehotline.org – C. Sky