Emotional affairs are easier to have these days, with everyone being connected through the Internet. It may seem harmless at first. You just made a new friend you have a few things in common with. Then you begin sharing details of your life and finding it difficult to go a day without “talking.” Emotional affairs can happen offline as well. You can connect on an inappropriate level with someone you go to school with or work with. Here are six signs that you may be having an emotional affair.
1. You hide your conversations from your partner
If your spouse asks you who you’re texting and you blurt out your best friend’s name instead of the new person you met in an online game, you may be having an emotional affair. If you delete conversations because you worry about your spouse coming across them, this is suspicious behavior. If you have to delete conversations, it means you’re probably talking about things you shouldn’t be.
2. You miss someone else more than you miss your spouse
If you find that you don’t miss your partner much and aren’t happy when they come home from work or meet you for dinner, because you’re missing someone else more, this is a sign of an emotional affair. You’ve connected with someone on a level that makes you miss them so much it’s interfering with your current relationship. If you can’t go a day without talking to this person, you are spending too much time and emotion on a relationship that doesn’t involve your spouse.
3. You want to share your news with someone else
When you share your good news with someone besides the person you are dating first, this means that you have let someone else into your life in an intimate way. If you text the person you met online three months ago, and have texted with daily ever since, that you got into grad school before you tell your partner, this is a sign you’re investing your time into telling someone else about your dreams, future goals, and life.
4. You dress to impress someone at work
Emotional affairs can happen offline as well as online. If you suddenly take more time when getting ready for work, shop for a few new outfits, or slap on a little more lipstick because you want someone at work to notice you, this could be the beginning of an emotional affair. You are attempting to get someone else’s attention so that they might talk to you. If you need attention from someone, try using the same techniques to get your partner’s attention.
5. You’re jealous your friend is dating someone new
If someone you’ve become friends with begins dating someone new and you find yourself overwhelmed with jealousy, it’s possible you’ve gotten too emotionally attached to this person. You are in the midst of an emotional affair if you cry yourself to sleep over them being with someone new even though you have a partner of your own.
6. You lie about having a partner
If you say that you don’t have a partner or leave out that information when talking to someone else, you are playing a dangerous game. You might not think it’s important information to divulge if you’re just looking for someone to talk to online, but if the person ends up falling for you, you’ll have to confess to being with someone. Honesty is always the best policy. Don’t wait to be asked if you’re single to let the truth out.
An affair is no less harmful because it is emotional instead of physical. Many people view emotional affairs as being worse than physical affairs because you are connecting with someone on a deeper level and spending time with them that you’re not spending with your partner. Emotional affairs can be detrimental to your relationship with your partner, so be careful before you think about entering one. If you didn’t realize you were having an emotional affair, you may want to consider ending it before you ruin you ruin your relationship with your partner.
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