Okay so, you’ve had a feeling for a while that it might be time for you to move on, but it feels like there’s something holding you back. It could be his boy band good looks, his charming personality or just the fact that you’re scared of being alone. Whatever it is, it’s time to investigate the facts and find out whether you should or shouldn’t break up. To help you out, we’ve identified seven signs that could indicate a breakup is (or should be) on the horizon.
Sign 1: He’s emotionally or physically abusive
I’ve tackled the biggest issue head-on to begin with because I truly believe that no woman (or man) should stay in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships leave us feeling depressed, hopeless, helpless and out of control. They can also injure us, both physically and emotionally, and lead to a myriad of health issues in the future. Here are some signs of an abusive relationship:
Tries to control your behavior
Gets jealous easily
Insults you in public or private
Makes you feel confused or like you are going ‘crazy’
Threatens violence against you, your pets, or people you love
Makes you feel scared
If you, or somebody you know, are in an abusive relationship make sure you get help as soon as possible. If you are in immediate danger, call your local police or emergency services. You should also surround yourself with friends and family who will support you to get out of the situation.
Sign 2: You bicker all the time
Okay, so all couples fight. It’s almost impossible not to! After all, you’re not going to agree about everything. You’re different people, with different opinions and different perspectives, so it’s important to take the whole ‘bickering’ sign with a pinch of salt.
In saying that however, if you’re fighting on a daily basis about petty things like not passing the ketchup fast enough and the way he puts the milk away, then you should probably take this as a potential sign that a breakup is looming.
Use your judgment and try to analyze whether you’re just permanently annoyed with each other or if there are actually certain problems that can be resolved in the relationship.
Sign 3: You’d rather spend time with your friends
Sometimes the best part of being in a relationship is that your boyfriend or girlfriend is also your best friend. There’s this sense that you can tell them anything, act silly when you feel like it and just be you, warts and all.
However, if you’re finding that you regularly choose girl nights over date nights, it might be time to take a look at your relationship.
When relationships start to wane, there can be this urge to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. You’ll start going out more, socializing more and be more inclined to spend your time with your friends rather than your partner.
I think this is in part because your subconscious understands that the relationship may not last forever and urges you to cement your other support structures such as family and friends so you can emotionally handle the break up should it arise.
Or, less philosophically, it could simply be because you don’t really like spending time with your partner anymore. Either way, this is a definite sign!
Sign 4: The things you used to find adorable are now really annoying
Remember when you first got together and you thought that the way he crinkled his nose was endearing? Or how you thought it was so cute that when he got excited, he talked with his mouth full of food? Well, let’s just say that you’re not feeling that way anymore.
Every time he slurps his coffee, chortles or farts you feel like tossing something large and heavy at him. It feels like you’re permanently annoyed with him and the things that you used to find lovable are now simply irritating.
And that, my beautiful reader, is a clear sign that things are on the down. Sure, every now and then your partner will be particularly irritating and you’ll have to throw a pillow at their head to get them to shut up, but most of the time you should feel pretty darn good when you look at them and interact with them. And more to the point, you should enjoy being with them.
So, if you’re discovering that you find less and less things lovable about your partner, it’s worth considering whether the love might be fading completely from the relationship.
Sign 5: “Well, maybe we should break up then!”
There’s always that one person in a relationship that threatens to break up every time you get into an argument. It might be a defense reflex, like “I’m going to do it before you do”, or it could just be for attention so the other person says, “No, I want to stay together! I love you, darling!”
Whichever way you look at it, this proclamation is definitely not too fun to be on the receiving end of. Not only can it hurt your feelings, but it also makes you feel like perhaps your partner doesn’t think the relationship is worth fighting for.
These are natural, normal and completely understandable feelings. And in fact, I’ve heard about a lot of partnerships that have ended because one person threatened to leave and rather than fighting for the relationship, the other person simply went along with it.
Now this isn’t to say that every time one of you brings out the ‘let’s break up’ card that it’s a fake, but it is a warning that this sign is a bit of an emotional response rather than a logical decision.
In saying that, if you’re finding that every time you fight with your partner one of you threatens to leave, then you should definitely take this sign under advisement. It’s not nice to threaten to leave people; it creates an atmosphere of insecurity and uncertainty where there should be love and stability.
And when this negative atmosphere is cultivated it’s almost impossible for the relationship to thrive.
Sign 6: You don’t see yourself in a long-term commitment
Picture this: you’re at an engagement party with your partner and the whole ‘So, is it going to be you two next?’ conversation/barbed criticism is thrown your way.
Now, normally, people in a happy relationship would respond something like this:
“You never know!” Coy look.
“It’s definitely something we’d like to do in the future.” Smile shared with partner.
“We are both pro-marriage, so let’s just wait and see what happens!” The room is practically glowing with your joy.
On the other hand, couples in an unhappy relationship will probably respond like this:
“What! With him? You have got to be kidding me!” Shocked and dismayed look.
“Bahahahahahaahaha!” Laughing/chortling/snorting that lasts for over a minute.
“God no. GOD no!” Gives the ‘are you an idiot?’ look.
“I’d rather be tossed into a boiling pot and slowly but surely made into a human soup!” Coupled with other ‘I’d rather’ remarks.
As you can see from the vastly different responses, this question, although a pain in the butt, is actually a really good indication of the emotional state of your relationship. If you’re both dedicated and committed to the relationship, you won’t hesitate to respond with ‘one day’, or something similar.
However, if this idea had never even crossed your mind, your response will probably be a little more enthusiastic and, er, creative.
So, ask yourself now “Will it be you two next?” Now wait and listen to your mental response. Your answer will be a pretty good indication of whether or not you should break up.
Sign 7: You are attracted and interested in other people
When you’re all loved up and happy in a relationship, I believe you’re wearing the equivalent of beer goggles, except they’re called love goggles. Basically, what they do is warp your perception of other men or woman. You even notice that Ryan Gosling has slightly crooked eyes.
As a result of these love goggles, you’re really not that interested in other people, at least sexually and physically. Sure, you’ll check out a hot bod or a good looking guy, but you won’t actively pursue and they won’t be on your mind for longer than the quick glance takes.
But when things are turning sour in your relationship, the love goggles are removed and suddenly you start noticing how many attractive men there really are out there. Single, attractive men. With nice jobs, great personalities and fantastic dress sense. And while you’re not actively pursuing another relationship, let’s just say you wouldn’t be averse if the opportunity came up.
This is a clear sign that a break up might be on the horizon, at least in your eyes.
Now, there are loads of other signs that you can use to determine whether you should break up with your partner, but these are some that I thought would help steer you in the right direction.
And remember, if you do choose to end the relationship, do it in a respectful, kind and caring manner. Don’t be cruel or nasty just for the sake of it. We all have feelings and those feelings can be easily hurt, so take your relationship and your decision very seriously. –by Carlos Cavallo
Let’s face it, moving on after a relationship isn’t easy. And in most cases, it’s the only way to better yourself and to lead a happier life. But for people who know for a fact that they can still make it work, this book can help. It has helped a lot of broken relationships and made them beautiful again. If you truly want your ex back, click here to check out this video. I think it will really help you.