Think you are you ready to take that next step, but you’re not sure about living with your guy every day? It goes beyond just wanting to spend time with him whenever you want, and the little things sometime can make it easier (or worse) to live with someone. Please note that these aren’t questions to ascertain if he’s your forever love, just how prepared you are to sharing the same living space.
1. Sharing Household Responsibilities
Not splitting the bills (though you should decide on that fairly quickly), but will you be splitting the chores or is your man going to expect you to take care of everything? You’re his girlfriend, not his mom, and if he’s used to a certain type of behavior when he’s living with a woman, then this is the time to know about it now. Stipulate what you need him to take care of, and what you’ll try to take care of through the week in return.
Unless stated otherwise, your intentions should be to take care of each other, not just one way or the other.
2. How much sharing is too much?
This is really about your comfort level with how intimate you’re ready to go. Are you going to be okay finding his dirty underwear on the floor and pick it up? Is he going to use the bathroom with the door open, or does he need to keep that closed? Does the bathroom have an open door policy or is he free to walk in on you in the shower? These seem like fairly small inconveniences, but after living on your own and then suddenly not, the little things could potentially add up fairly quickly.
3. Figure out your stance on pleasuring yourself and porn.
Ladies, it’s going to happen. Hopefully he knows that you probably are going to as well. It’s got nothing to do with how sexually active you are together; in fact, studies show that it can be good for your health and relaxation. So decide now where he’s comfortable with you doing this, or if he wants to hear about it at all.
In a similar topic, figure out where your stances are on pornography. Do you hide it, or are you going to be open about it, and even share it? If you’re relationship is comfortable to that level, you might consider even enjoying it together. Figure out what he’s comfortable with and if that’s going to make you uncomfortable. Not all couples have the same taste in erotica.
4. How much sex are you expecting?
If you’re both busy enough, and tired enough, it’s entirely possible that neither of you are expecting sex every day. But figure out now if he is expecting some sort of heated honeymoon period after you first move in together and if realistically you have the time in your schedule for that. If not traditional sex, is he expecting his needs to be fulfilled in other ways? If you’re able to talk to each other openly about sexual subjects, then you’re already on the right step. If he tries to dodge it by saying it should be spur of the moment, keep on him–you’re both adults and you should be able to talk about this.
5. Who is okay to have over and how many night outs is okay?
You may not like his friends, but he may want them to come over to watch a football or play video games. This can be difficult for you if you don’t feel included in his circle of friends. If you are, then it won’t be as much of a problem. But say if it is, and if he’s okay with you having nights out of your own with your friends, and vice versa. Plan these evenings and know that it’s okay to want to unwind and have fun with your friends separately. You’re still two separate people and don’t have to spend every waking moment together just because you’re not living together.
6. Does this dress make me look fat?
He might be okay if you point out the weight he may have gained or if his hair is thinning, but you might not like to be told that the dress you’re wearing is too small or risque. If you’re going to see living together as being part of a team, your team, then you may want to consider being open about these things. It can be part of taking care of each other. But if you’re not comfortable with this, or if you see it as your man policing your appearance, then this might be a subject that he needs to know is off limits. Even if he’s never said anything like this while you’ve been dating, living together could change that.
7. Do exes fit into the equation or are they off limits?
Many people remain close to their exes, or even just have occasionally contact with them on Facebook. If you want your exes in your life, as friends, then your man needs to know this from the beginning so there’s no confusion. Likewise, figure out if you’re comfortable with him remaining friends with his exes, or if you’re going to be worried they’re competition. You don’t have to be the ‘cool’ girlfriend and say nothing. Taking this step of living together is more serious than casually dating, so he should take this seriously too.
8. What about cheating?
The toughest can be saved for last, but maybe you’ll want to switch these around so it’s not ending on such a downer. Talk about what you consider cheating. What you consider cheating and what your man consider cheating might be totally different. Get on the same page so that if an indiscretion does happen neither of you can say “I didn’t know you considered that cheating.” If either of you have serious doubts about the other being loyal, you might want to postpone moving in together and work on your trust issues before taking such a big step in your relationship.
Use your best judgement with these questions and his answers, as well as your own, because they might surprise you. Living together before getting married isn’t as a big deal as it used to be. If you have fun being together and you just feel like your relationship works, that you can go long term, then a little practice won’t hurt. It could end up being a lot of fun and rewarding.
Good luck! by: Christina Queen
Wish you could move in together? This is for ANY woman who is with the man she feels she could spend the rest of her life with… Someone she can really connect with – and he “conveniently” avoids the subject of commitment like the black plague… See it here
Seriously, this is like “jump starting” his commitment to you, and getting things going in the right direction once and for all. Life is too short, take control of the situation right now and check this out… Click for more (advertisement)