If your last relationship (and the one before that, and the one before that) ended in a scene reminiscent of the Titanic, it may be time to reassess your dating life and your approach to the opposite sex. Here are 8 reasons you may be failing at the game of love, and what you can do about them.
#1. You Have Unrealistic Expectations
If your idea of romance is a knight riding up on a white horse, you might need to tamp down your expectations at bit. Chivalry might not be dead, but there is a serious lack of knights in the modern world.
Tamping down your expectations does not mean settling for a bad guy (or girl), but it does mean getting a healthy dose of reality. If you seek out great people, you will find them, but try not to expect too much too soon.
#2. You Do Not Know What You Want
It is hard to find a good relationship when you do not know what you want from a relationship. Being in a relationship is hard work, and you need to know what you are looking for.
That does not mean you need to start planning the marriage after your first date, but knowing what you expect from a relationship is key. Are you looking for a serious commitment, a bit of fun or somewhere in between?
#3. You Are Looking for Love in all The Wrong Places
You can meet plenty of guys at the local dive bar, but they may not be the kind of guys you want to bring home to mom and dad. If you broke off your last relationship because your significant other drank too much, think back to how you met.
Changing the venues you use to find love could make a big difference. Try going to the next singles’ night at your church, or ask your friends to set you up. You just might be surprised at how many great people are out there.
#4. You Are Trying to Please Your Mom
If you are dating because your mom wants grandchildren, you are doing it all wrong. Never date just to please someone else in your life. If your relationships are failing, it may be because you do not really want to be in one.
It may be time to take a break from the dating life and place to focus back on you. When you are ready to start dating again, you can work on finding someone who is a match for you – not your parents.
#5. You Get Jealous Too Easily
If your significant other is drooling all over the waitress, you have every right to be miffed. If your partner simply grabs a quick glance, jealousy is probably an overreaction.
Jealousy can ruin even the most committed relationship, so you should keep that green-eyed monster confined to its cage. That can be easier said than done, especially if you have been cheated on in the past, but it is important to try.
#6. You Let the Little Things Build Up
Bottling up your emotions is a recipe for disaster. If something is bothering you, be up front about it and get it out of the way. Your partner probably does a few things that bug you. Do not let those things build up until there is an explosion.
Being in a relationship does not mean ignoring those little things or trying to change them. Simply be open and honest about your feelings and do not be afraid to express your emotions.
#7. You Are Pressed for Time
Being in a relationship takes time and effort. If you lack one or the other, maybe now is not the best time to date. If your last five girlfriends or boyfriends all complained you did not have time for them, they may have been on to something.
You can still date casually and hang out with friends, but waiting until you have time for a real relationship will make you and your future partner happier.
#8. You Spend Too Much Time at Work
If you spend all your time at work, you might want to wait until things settle down to date seriously. Lack of time is a huge issue in relationships, and the demands of a high-stress job can be a real relationship killer.
You might think that dating at work would solve the problem, but that path can be fraught with peril. If you have your eyes on a hot guy or girl at work, you need to be prepared for the consequences of a failed relationship.