Giving up old grudges and overcoming old hurts is good for the soul, but moving on is easier said than done. If you have been hurt before, it can be hard to trust again, and even harder to forgive the people who hurt you. In the end, however, forgiving the other person (and yourself) is the key to healing.
#1. Your Defensive Nature
It is easy to get your back up and blame someone else for all your problems. It is much harder to admit your own role in the situation and move on. Every mistake is a learning opportunity, but your defensive nature can make learning the lesson pretty tough. Letting go of that defensiveness is a valuable skill, but not one that comes naturally to most people.
#2. Your Need to Hold a Grudge
It is all too easy to hold a grudge, especially when you have been wronged. Some grudges are justified, but that does not make them any less harmful. Holding on to hold grudges is harder on you than your ex-friend or lover, and the sooner you learn to let it go the better you will feel. So stop treating your grudges like beloved pets and show them the door.
#3. An Inability to Forgive Yourself
Sometimes it is harder to forgive yourself than others. If you cannot forgive yourself for the bad things that happened, you will never be able to forgive the people who betrayed you. No matter how deep the resentment or long-lasting the grudge, you will never be able to move on until you learn to forgive yourself.
#4. Your Own Low Self-Esteem
You cannot love someone else if you do not love yourself. Low self-esteem can make moving on from a past hurt all but impossible. The sooner you deal with the underlying issue the better off you will be. Overcoming low self-esteem and past hurts is hard, but most worthwhile things in life are difficult.
#5. Your Past Hurts
It is hard to move on with your life when you have been hurt deeply. The deeper the hurt and more severe the betrayal the harder it is to recover and go on. Past hurts can last for years and sometimes even a lifetime, but overcoming them is the key to proper healing.
#6. Your Feelings of Resentment
It is easy to feel resentful, especially when you have been cheated on, taken advantage of or otherwise betrayed. Over time, however, that resentment will eat away at you and interfere with the happiness you deserve. Resentment is hard to overcome, but it is important to try.
#7. Lasting Effects
It can be hard to forgive and move on when you are still living with the consequences of the bad behavior. If a former friend stole from you and left you deep in debt, you might not feel like forgiving them and welcoming them back into your life. If an ex-boyfriend cheated on you and made you feel like a fool, you might not be in a hurry to patch things up.
#8. The Lies You Tell Yourself
It is easy to make excuses for your past actions and the actions of those who wronged you. In the end it is the lies we tell ourselves that hurt us the most. Until you learn to put those lies and rest and stop making excuses, it will be impossible to move on with your life and enjoy true happiness.
#9. The Need to Relive Past Events
It is all too easy to replay painful events over and over, but letting go is the key to healing. No matter how bad the hurt or deep the betrayal, moving on means letting go and not replaying those painful times in your past. by Lisa P.