9 Tips to Deal With Infidelity

4. Take time to think about your situation. Don’t react right away and make a decision you’ll regret later. You don’t have to make any decision right away. Once you’ve thought it through, make a plan of action — potentially an exit plan and get all your ducks in a row.

“The first time I forgave, but I had a plan in case it happened again. When it inevitably did, I knew exactly what I was going to do, where I was going to live, where my kids would go to school, my work and child support situation.”

5. Remember that it was their choice.

Despite anything that may have happened in the relationship, it was ultimately their choice that caused this. You are free from the burden of that choice so don’t carry any guilt. You don’t have to forget, you do have to forgive. It’s not easy, but you’ll thank yourself in the long run. The main thing to keep in mind is that they caused this, not you.

6. “Even if you don’t patch things up in the relationship, find forgiveness before it destroys you.”

7. “It can depend on whether the other person wants to work through things. Whatever you decide, I’d recommend you take on this perspective: Yesterday is history. You only have today.”

8. “As a therapist who specializes in affair recovery, my advice is to wait. You don’t have to make any decisions right away.”