Are You Losing Him?

Many relationships parish because of poor communication.  It is a lack of knowledge that makes so many women vulnerable. If you believe you may be losing him there are two things you should consider:

First, reconsider your initial role in the relationship. Were you just friends, were you friends with benefits, or were you companions?

If you are just friends, you are two people who share similar interest and enjoy each others company. There’s a sense of comfort and security in your relationship because you are not looking for the other person to be anything but a friend and confidant.

If you are friends with benefits, you’ve taken the relationship to a level of closeness. The problem here, however, is that you’re not requiring anything in return for giving yourself away. The act may have happened accidentally, or it may have been a carefully planned encounter. Either way the lovemaking sends different signals to each of you.

If you are just a companion, you are a trophy to be put on display. Something about you makes him proud to have others see him with you. Your beauty, style, wealth, or popularity stroke his ego. Others look approvingly at him because you are on his arm. He may not want anything else from you, or closeness may be the benefit that comes after a great evening, but the truth is he likes showing you off.

After re-evaluating your role, discuss with him what you think it is and ask him what he wants it to be. You may find that you want more than he’s willing to offer, or you may realize he’s ready to take you both to a different and better place.

Men are not great communicators. They will let you assume something totally different from what they feel or want. He will endure rather than discuss. It’s only when he no longer wants the relationship that he makes you aware of problems often saying “this is what you wanted.”

Second, a woman should always guard her heart. It’s easy to fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. Some women go out on a couple of dates and the next thing you know the guy is moving in. What she thinks is a romantic commitment is in reality the guy looking for a place to stay for a few months.

Everything important to you and about you flows from within you. If you give it away too quickly, you cheapen yourself. There’s nothing wrong with playing hard to get even after you’ve got his attention. To guard your heart means seeing yourself as valuable and important, don’t give anyone control over you without demanding something in return. Men are hunters; the struggle for something increases its value in their eyes.

If the relationship is irreparable, and he is really leaving here are two things you should not do:

First, don’t blame yourself. We learn what we really want by carefully examining what we had. If you try to keep him when he is set on leaving, you will only make promises that can’t and shouldn’t be kept.

Second, don’t spend your life worrying about it. The lesson from every relationship is “I can’t be everything to everybody.” Give yourself permission to live and love again.

If you’re losing him, don’t see yourself as disposable trash, it just wasn’t meant to be. Believe in your value and worth, and move on. by Char Brown