Even the best relationships go through periods when passion seems to wane. In fact, you might well buy into the myth that sex in any long-term relationship naturally becomes boring or repetitive. The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to rejuvenate life in the bedroom. Here are eight suggestions to get you started.
1. Let go of old assumptions
Fun is the key ingredient required to spice up your relationship, and you’re never going to be able to have fun if you’re too busy panicking about how much sex your neighbors are having or thinking that you need to look like a model to get your partner’s attention. In addition, you need to give up the assumption that a sexual rut means you no longer love each other. For some people, the mere act of relaxing about the issue of sex opens doors to fantastic new ideas about intimacy.
2. Explore your partner’s body
When you’ve been together for years, it’s easy to assume that you know everything there is to know about your partner’s body. However, you can learn a lot if you deviate from your usual sexual routine and start exploring new places. This doesn’t necessarily mean immediately reaching for a double-ended dildo, either. For example, soft kisses down someone’s back can be very sensual, and gently stroking a person’s scalp has been known to produce pleasurable goosebumps.
3. Have sex in new places
Do you always have sex in the bedroom? If so, try branching out to recapture some of the excitement associated with the early days of your relationship. You can try out different rooms and different surfaces, but do your best to avoid places where you might get arrested!
4. Share your fantasies
If you create a safe, fun atmosphere in which you and your partner both feel free to share your sexual fantasies, you may come up with some ideas you want to try. Even if you don’t, it can be arousing to just hear your partner describe the things they daydream about.
5. Send each other sexy messages
You can add a new spark to your relationship by sending your partner a salacious message about what you’d like to do with them later, or you can even try trading messages that build up a vivid scenario. This way of approaching each other tends to enhance desire and encourages you to use your imagination instead of falling back on tried and tested methods.
6. Add more foreplay
After a lengthy relationship, couples sometimes skip the foreplay stage and go straight for intercourse. However, this can be especially disappointing for women, who may often find themselves unsatisfied by this ‘in and out’ approach. Encourage your partner to place more of an emphasis on foreplay, whether that requires longer periods spent kissing or involves improving oral sex skills.
7. Experiment with role play
Some people absolutely love role playing, writing themselves entire scripts and emptying their wallets for authentic costumes. If that sounds a bit ridiculous, a more casual approach to role play can still be fun. Talk about a scenario you both find sexy, and figure out how to play those parts in the bedroom.
8. Figure out some new positions
It’s natural to be wary of adding new positions to your repertoire if you know what works. Nevertheless, being brave enough to branch out can lead to fantastic new experiences. You don’t need to be able to put your legs behind your head or balance on one hand, but it is worth looking up some basic new positions that look like they might be fun. If something doesn’t work, agree that you will be able to laugh it off and try something else.