You don’t need to be exceptionally good looking or have more money than God to be well liked. Likability comes from a series of behaviors that anyone can develop with enough practice. Researchers at UCLA polled subjects to determine which adjectives were considered most indicative of the likability of a person. Surprisingly, the most popular words weren’t related to external characteristics like intelligence or good looks; most subjects chose such qualities as transparency, sincerity and the ability to understand other people. All of these descriptions are indicative of people who are emotionally and socially intelligent. If you want to become more likable, start doing the following:
1. Ask more questions.
Most people think being a good listener means being silent when someone is talking to them. As a result, any questions they might have about the topic being talked about are usually ignored. This leads to an inefficient exchange of information.
Instead, try to ask questions whenever you are unsure about something that the other person is saying. Asking questions not only improves your understanding of the subject, but it also shows the other person that you are actively paying attention.
2. Don’t look at your phone when you’re talking to someone.
There are few things that can derail a conversation more quickly than someone incessantly staring at their phone while they’re talking or being talked to. When you are talking to someone, keep your phone away. This shows them that you are more invested in the conversation, and it makes the whole experience more enriching for all parties involved.
3. Be yourself.