How to Break The Pattern

Question from a reader:  Carlos, I’m fairly certain there’s something with me, other than being unemployed.  I am a degreed, professional, who has been successful enough to have raised my now 21 year-old son (who is living with me again) and purchased a condo by myself. I have been married and divorced twice (both had addictive personalities and both were abusive (not physically), and I desperately want to break the pattern.

My last relationship, an on-again, off-again four-year roller coaster ride was also with addict (alcoholic), and now I just want to find true love and peace.  So, since I already know first-hand that money does not buy happiness, I am now communicating online with a 53 year-old guy 2200 miles away, who seems like a really nice, considerate, observant, God-fearing, biker guy with a big heart who knows how to make me smile.

Not only is he 2200 miles away, but he living in his brother’s motor-home, just got a job at Home Depot helping customers (the job of a 20 year-old, he shamefully admits), and is trying to recover from having lost everything (due to his last relationship). But yet he still keeps his faith in God, an admirable quality to me, and tries to help me with advice and emotional support.

Anyway, why am I involving myself with someone so low on the socio-economic totem pole? He is not looking for handouts at all, and is working hard to get his life on track. Money isn’t everything, but there must be something wrong with him to be in such a dire situation at this point in his life, no? Or am I being too critical? PLEASE HELP.  Many thanks,  RZ


CARLOS ANSWERS:  Well RZ, this does seem to be a problem. I have to admit I’m asking myself the same question: Why are you involving yourself with a man who is 2200 miles away?  You know my stance on long distance relationships.  They SUCK.  Period.