You are happily married to the man of your dreams but there’s one problem; his mother in law. She is snarky, annoying, sarcastic and downright mean. If only it were possible to wish her away and completely make her disappear. Unfortunately, that’s not possible because you have to figure out a way to get along with your husband’s mother.
Don’t think for even one moment that you don’t need to get along with her since you are not married to her. If you want to put a damper on your relationship, then go ahead and start disrespecting his mom. But if you want to live happily ever after with your husband, we have a few tips you can use.
Assume her intentions are good
Mothers in law offer all kinds of unwarranted advice. They will tell you that’s not how pasta should be cooked or you don’t know how to do the laundry or her son shouldn’t be eating a certain type of food. All this advice can make anyone easily feel like they are being condemned.
Try to put yourself in her shoes and try to look at things from her perspective. She just wants what’s best for her son and if it were you, that’s what you’d want. So just assume she has the best intentions and say “thank you” and do your own thing.
If she insists on pushing her opinions, say something like “Thanks for the advice but we’ll first ask the doctor about that”. This way, you’ll deflect her opinions by citing an authority source like a doctor, a nutritionist, or any other expert depending on what type of opinion she’s pushing.
Avoid heated discussions with her
If you know your mother in law is one of those women who are opinionated or force their opinions down other people’s throats, then you should try as much as possible to avoid discussing controversial topics with her.
Anything to do with religion, politics, or any other controversial topics should be strictly avoided. If they bring up discussions revolving around these topics, simply avoid them by saying something like “you know I love politics and you are good at it. I’d better stay out of this one.” Getting into a fight with her or trying to show her you are smarter won’t get you far.
Set boundaries right from the start
The biggest mistake you can make is allowing your mother in law to be in charge of the children, the food you eat or the cleanliness of your house. You might think that you are doing something great by getting her involved but this will create problems for you later on.
For instance, if you let her become a permanent babysitter and she starts raising your children contrary to how you want them raised, you won’t have the luxury of pulling back the reigns without causing friction between you and her. You can’t just fire her like you’d fire any other babysitter. So you need to figure out right from the start what sorta things your mother in law should be involved in that won’t bring about unnecessary drama.
Kill her with kindness
Some mothers in law are just out to drive their daughters’ in law crazy. They do it because they are jealous or too possessive of their sons. Whatever the case, this type of mother in law is the most difficult to deal with. She will meddle in all your affairs and openly criticize you in front of everyone.
When she does this, she obviously expects some kind of reaction from you because she wants to prove a point. So instead of engaging her in senseless arguments, make every effort to make her comfortable even if you will hate every second of it. She will soon grow tired of her little game when she realizes she is the only one playing it. Don’t let her get to you.
Dealing with your mother in law can be stressful but the worst thing you can do is stand between her and her son. Ask your husband to help you deal with his mother but don’t try to make him choose sides. But if he doesn’t see how annoying, manipulative, belittling and conniving she is, then you will have to fight the battle alone for the sake of peace in your home.
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