So you’ve met this wonderful guy and things are going really well. He knows you have kids and he is more than ready to meet them. As a mother, you are not sure if your kids will like this guy. Will they hit it off or will they reject him the moment they see him? What happens when they don’t hit it off immediately? Will you break up with the guy and find another one or will you tell the guy to hang in there and maybe things will work out? This is a real dilemma for many women so here’s how you should do the introduction.
How To Do The Introduction
How you do the introduction depends on how old your kids are. If they are older, think 18 and above, you won’t have much work to do but if they are younger, your approach has to be carefully thought out. Here are some tips to help you make the right decisions:
- Don’t act like it’s a huge deal
Introducing your new beau to your kids is a huge deal for the two of you but it shouldn’t be for your kids. It’s probably better to explain this with an example. When your kid falls off his bike and scrapes his knee, is he likely to have a huge meltdown when you freak out or when you act cool? That’s right; when you play cool he will get up, dust himself off and get on his bike again like nothing happened.
So if you act like your kids meeting your new boyfriend is a huge deal they will get worked up for completely no reason at all. So what should you do? Mention ahead of time that your friend will be stopping by. Don’t say “boyfriend” or “special friend”, just a “friend”. And don’t forget to tell your beau not to show any PDA in front of your kids at least for the first few weeks.
- Keep your dates low key
Make sure the first few meetings between your new man and your kids is casual and friendly. It should be somewhere your kids are comfortable. You could go for a pizza or ice cream or somewhere your kids like. But don’t go all out and spend a whole day at Disney World. The date shouldn’t be too long. An hour or two should be enough until everybody is properly acquainted.
- Have the “talk” with your kids
Talk to your kids about different types of families. Don’t assume that because they are young, they can’t understand; unless of course they are a few months old. If they are a few months old, it’s probably a good idea to wait until they are a little older. Expose your kids to different types of families. For instance, if a playmate has one mum and two dads, you could start a discussion about different types of families. Emphasize that a new addition to the family doesn’t necessarily mean that they are taking anyone else’s place, they are just making a family bigger and better.
- Don’t expect too much from your kids or your new beau
Don’t expect your kids to hit it off right away with your new man. If they do, you should consider yourself lucky. It probably took you a few months to get comfortable with this guy so it will probably take your kids about the same time or longer. Don’t force your kids to like the guy and don’t pressure the guy to find ways to connect with the kids. Let things happen naturally. If things go well, you might find your kids and your beau have some secret handshakes or they now laugh at his jokes.
Don’t Do These Two Things
- Introduce your kids to every Tom, Dick and Harry
The safety of your kids should always come first. Get to know your new man better before you introduce him to your kids. The last thing you want is to introduce a pedophile or a child trafficker to your kids. The guy might also be really nice and likes kids but what if the relationship doesn’t work out and your kids have already bonded with this guy? You might just make your kids develop abandonment issues.
- Prioritize your new man over family time
Finding new love is exciting and makes you feel like you just want to spend as much time as possible with this guy. But that doesn’t mean you should start ditching your daughter’s dance recital or your son’s football game. Find a way to balance time with your kids and with your beau. When your kids feel they are still important to you, they are likely to be more positive about this new guy in their lives.
Introducing a new guy to your kids is never easy. It takes a lot of time and effort. One thing that you should always bear in mind is that you should never be in a hurry to introduce your kids to your new man.
This is for ANY woman who is with the man she feels she could spend the rest of her life with… Someone she can really connect with – and he “conveniently” avoids the subject of commitment like the black plague… See it here
Seriously, this is like “jump starting” his commitment to you, and getting things going in the right direction once and for all. Life is too short, take control of the situation right now and check this out… Click for more (advertisement)