You really like this guy, and you want to build a good, solid relationship with him. However, your instincts are telling you he might not be as serious about the relationship as you are. In fact, you’re beginning to think he might not be serious at all. Since our instincts are not 100 percent correct (probably about 90 percent), here is a list of signs that your boyfriend is playing you for a fool.
Pay attention, and remember, you deserve someone who doesn’t view you as a place-holder, as just a stop-gap, until someone else better comes along. As someone he’ll have a little bit of fun with until he dumps you.
1. The Busy Signal
They always have a hectic schedule; work, school, family, and sometimes religious obligations that might be keeping their hands tied. They say they want to spend time with you, but things just aren’t going their way.
First of all, if they’re suddenly busier than they were with no good excuse, it’s not a good sign. This might not necessarily be cheating, but it is a major indicator that something is wrong in your relationship.
Second, if he makes the same lame excuse over and over like, “Sorry babe, I’m doing laundry” for days on end, and then just shows up completely devoted to you, “laundry” is probably someone else.
These two signs in combination might suggest that something is going on. It is good to ask him directly if he’s not feeling the relationship. If he’s cheating, he’ll say it’s nothing, or he’s totally devoted to you and, give you no other excuse than what he always says.
2. The Escape Plan
Sometimes guys get text messages that are truly emergencies where they have to get up and run off to save the world. This warning sign does not apply to emergency response workers, or people with truly demanding jobs.
If a guy works at Starbucks, has a fairly healthy family, and doesn’t have emergency medical conditions himself, then emergency phone calls shouldn’t happen very often. If your guy says he loves you and, wants this to be the real deal, but he gets more than one emergency phone call a month then something is definitely up.
Lying in a relationship is never a good sign but, if he consistently says he’s one place but, you see him elsewhere it would be best to ask him about it. If he still lies and said you must have seen someone else, he’s either planning a sweet surprise or he’s cheating. Give it time, if it keeps happening approach him again. If he’s still lies he likely has someone on the side.
4. Material Evidence
Finding women’s items that don’t belong to you, his mother, or his sisters may be an indication that he’s cheating. If it’s in his car, it could be nothing. If it’s in his bedroom, it’s most likely something. Ask him about it. If he lies, show him the evidence. Studies suggest that cheaters confess when presented with evidence.
5. Not For You
If you find evidence of him buying gifts that aren’t for you or for a family member, or a close friend that you know about, it’s a bad sign. Ask him what it was for. Follow your heart on this one but, if it shows up in connection with any other suspicious activity it could be evidence of cheating.
If you feel like your man is always gushing about how much he loves you, but he’s really distant and less affectionate, then he’s either going through some emotional problems, or he could be cheating. Ask him. It may be that he wants to end the relationship but don’t know how, he’s having some personal problems, or he’s cheating. Follow your heart.
If he’s touchy about his electronics, he could be cheating. Don’t invade his privacy by going through his phone. But if he exhibits aggressive behavior towards you for just touching his phone, that’s a bad sign. Either he’s cheating or he’s a jerk. Either way, let him go. – Lisa P.