You thought you could handle the long distance…all it would take is a little hard work, right? You figured if you and your man both played your roles everything would be perfect and you would one day ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. It started out great but now you are not so sure you should stay in your long distance relationship. To help you clear the air, here are a few signs that will help you make a decision.
Your distance will never shorten
Okay, he lives in Australia and you are here in Arizona. He made it clear he wasn’t going to live there for a year and then come back. In fact, he wants to settle there. You on the other hand don’t want to move to Australia. You have a great job in Arizona, all your friends live there and you would rather start a family in Arizona but you are still holding on to the relationship hoping for a miracle. So here’s our question: Are you kidding? You are just wasting each other’s’ time. Simply end the relationship and find someone closer to home.
You never see each other
You don’t have time to fly out and see him and he doesn’t have time to come see you so you prefer to only see and talk to each other on Skype. Yeah, and you call that a relationship? First of all, that’s not a real relationship because you need to see each other even if it’s just once a month. Second of all, if you are comfortable with just Skyping then maybe you should consider being friends first until the distance between you shortens.
You are unhappy
You cry every night and you’ve said a gazillion times “I can’t do this anymore”. If you spend more time being sad than happy, then it’s time to end the relationship. If you also spend more time fighting, then the relationship just isn’t worth it. Yes, a relationship isn’t made up of 100% happy moments…there are bound to be sad ones but if only 10% are happy moments then you need to get out of that relationship.
The relationship is holding you back
Do you find yourself ditching plans with your friends all the time because your man wants to Skype with you? Maybe you live in different time zones and the only time you can Skype is after work when you want to do other activities like going to the gym or attending those dance classes. We know that in every relationship you need to compromise and adjust but if you feel like your relationship is keeping you from doing what you like, then you need to reevaluate.
Also, if you feel like you are missing out on great opportunities because of your long distance relationship, then you need to seriously reconsider. For instance, if you meet someone interesting, but your long distance relationship is holding you back, it might be time to consider whether your relationship is working for you or not.
You figure you can survive without your man
This usually happens when you grow apart and you realize you are not excited to talk to your man or visit him. You feel like he no longer fills that void that he used to and you rarely think about him. In short, you don’t feel him or the relationship anymore. It happens and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. Just let him go and wish him all the best.
Your long distance relationship feels like a chore
This is probably the biggest red flag. If you feel like your relationship is an inconvenience then it probably isn’t for you. Every time your partner tells you he wants to Skype you think to yourself “ugh…he wants to talk. Now I’ll have to log in on Skype.” If you feel this way, then something isn’t working and you should do something about it.
If you feel like your long distance relationship isn’t working, the best thing to do is end it. Don’t drag the relationship or lead your man on. Be truthful with your man and tell him why the relationship isn’t working for you. Don’t pull a fade away break up.