Mr. Not So Right

So you have finally found “Mr. Right.” Your soulmate, but not so fast.

Just when you start to think you are the luckiest girl in the world, and he has won your heart, Mr. Right reveals that he is married. He assures you it’s just a formality and that a divorce is pending. He and his wife just have to work out some details first.

You are hurt. You feel foolish and betrayed but against your better judgment he talks you into giving your relationship a try.  After all, you have never met a man who is so affectionate towards you. He knows the right things to say, and he makes you feel good about yourself. Besides, he will be a free man soon.

So you rationalize the situation and tell yourself that there is no way something that feels this good could be wrong, that you were meant to be together.

Unfortunately, this type of situation happens far too frequently. Many times, these men turn out to be serial cheaters, meaning that they have become highly astute in concealing signs of their marriage.   They know just what to do and say to get women hooked.  They portray themselves as single and seem to have a lot of free time on their hands.

The one thing in life that you must learn is to love and respect yourself enough not to put up with this kind of betrayal. Any man who would deceive you like this is definitely not worthy of your love and affection. Once you learn of his deceit, you have to be strong enough to walk away.

Statics shows that the odds are not in your favor for a happy relationship. Below, you will find several key reasons why this married man will never leave his wife. Not even for you.

Follow The Money

One of the primary reasons men stay in marriages they are not happy in is because they don’t want any of the financial consequences that are associated with divorce. They either don’t want to give up any assets acquired during the marriage or they couldn’t afford to continue their current lifestyle if divorced. So their philosophy is “It’s cheaper to keep her.”

A Convenient Excuse

If your man has children, don’t be surprised if this is the reason he gives you for not leaving his wife. “She’s a monster who will never let him see his kids.” Of course when this excuse is thrown in your face you don’t want to be seen as a monster who wants to take a dad from his kids. “As soon as the kids are old enough to understand I’ll divorce my wife.” Good luck with that.

Psychological Attachment

Believe it or not, some men have a sick kind of loyalty to their wife. Sure they can cheat and lie to her but there is a psychological bond that exists that even he is probably unaware exists. And it’s one of the primary reasons he will never leave her.

Marriage is an institution that cultivates a unique bonding process. The combination of perpetual close proximity, frequent intimacy, and availability create the ideal situation for the facilitation of the complete bonding process, which includes physical bonding, emotional bonding, and psychological bonding.

It is the psychological bonding that is the last bond to be broken before couples actually break up and go their separate ways. If he is still with her, this is almost guaranteed to be a part of the reason, and as long as he is in the home with her, this will not change.

Bottom Line

So all the above being said, it boils down to this fact; if he were going to leave, he would have left already. If he were an honorable man, he would not be stringing you along and lying to his wife. The fact that he is still living in the home while pursuing outside relationships is a key indicator that he is not leaving. If he really wanted out of the marriage, he would have taken the necessary steps before he met you.

If you need a little more incentive as to why it won’t work out with your married man; of the less than 20 percent of men who actually leave their wives after cheating on them, less than 10 percent stay with the woman that they left their wives for.  Once again, the odds are not in your favor.  Ask yourself, do you want the type of man who would lie to get you in a relationship, cheat on his wife, and continue lying to you so that you would stay in the relationship?

Do yourself a favor. Make life less stressful and remove yourself from the situation. You don’t want to be labeled a home-wrecker, but that is what you will be if you continue down the path you are on.