This article highlights seven reasons why you are just his mistress. But the truth is, YOU are the main reason you will only be his side chick, especially if you know that is what you are from the beginning.
Because You Allow It
If you accept less, nine times out of ten that is what you will get. Many side chicks simply allow themselves to be put into the category of mistress. They accept the game their man runs on them even when they say they want better. If she isn’t aware of the other woman, then that is different. Unfortunately plenty women are aware of the main chick and still choose to go along with the situation. The reality is that many side chicks believe that eventually they will be able to push the main chick out and become his one and only. Most are delusional if believe this will happen, becoming the main check if often never achieved. And if by some chance you become his main chick, what have you really won?
Side Chick Benefits
Let’s face it, some guys offer an excellent benefits package to their mistress. Lavish gifts, bills paid, and all the two-minute sex sessions she could dream of. For many women, this is worth the trade-off of not being the main woman. We can discuss whether this is right or wrong, but I’m not getting into that today. The perceived benefits that the woman will receive including having more flexibility on when she does or don’t have to deal with this man, makes this arrangement work in her mind. She isn’t truly into him either so for her it’s less hassle and more fun as far as she is concerned.
You Fear a Real Relationship
The truth is our world is filled with damaged and hurt individuals. The disappointments in love and relationships have caused many people to operate with walls up. For some, what better wall to protect yourself than knowingly not being the only woman in that man’s life. Some women figure being the side chick is safer for their hearts and emotions while still providing them companionship at some level. Of course, this is a risky business because eventually many side chicks still develop an unhealthy emotional attachment. And still this situation is appealing to some who think they are “protecting themselves”.
You Only Offer Good Looks or Sex
Unfortunately, many women don’t know or haven’t reached their full potential. They haven’t evolved as mature women, and they simply get by on their good looks or ability to satisfy a man in bed. For a lot of men, this is all they want from their side chick. They don’t want stimulating conversation or talks about the future, so this woman is a perfect fit for them. If you want to hold a higher position in a man’s life you have to provide much more value than this. For some guys, this may be enough to get their top spot but you likely won’t be able to maintain it. A woman has to bring more to the table to attract and hold a good man or be prepared to attract men who are users and losers.
You Get a High from Being the Other Woman
Obviously there is a deeper rooted issue here but at the surface this is an ego boost to some women with low self-esteem. She likes the fact that she has someone else’s man running after her. She enjoys doing something that others view as wrong (forbidden fruit). There may be a bitterness factor at play because she has been burned and hurt in the past so this makes her feel like she is in control. It’s just a thrill for her, and she isn’t ready or willing to embrace something with real substance or put forward any effort to maintain a real relationship. She sees this as a game to be won or lost with no true emotions attached.
He Can’t Bring You Home to His Family
Just because a man wants to have sex with a woman, that doesn’t mean he can ever see himself being in a real relationship with her. She will always be his side chick because of that fact and because he knows his family would not accept her as anything more. The specific reasons why can vary with each person and family. Ultimately she provides enough benefits to keep around but the man will never embrace her enough to make her his main woman, the one he takes to meet his mother.
You Don’t Know Your Worth
Low self-esteem can drive people to deal with a lot less than what they deserve, and, in this case, accept the role of being a side chick. She may have bought into the lie that she can’t do better than this man. That she should appreciate the leftover scraps that he feeds her rather than embrace that she deserves receiving a full meal from a man. Maybe she started off not knowing, but after she realized she was the side chick, she found it hard to walk away. Knowing and embracing her worth would help her find the strength, not to accept the situation that she knows she is unhappy with. This woman should not let a man set her value. She has to realize she is worth much more than this.
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