Stop Scaring Your Dates Away

Things that women who want to be in a committed relationship do to scare men off.

You’re hot, classy, confident, smart and funny but you have one problem; guys seem to vanish after a few dates. At first you thought it’s because they couldn’t handle a fierce woman like you because they were insecure. But you are now worried that all the men you like disappear after a few dates. The ones who stick around are jerks. Then you start thinking that maybe you are meant to spend the rest of your life alone and miserable. Well, have you considered that it could be something you are saying or doing that’s making them run for the hills? Below are some of the mistakes you could be making with a man you started dating.

  1. Being a jealous psycho

Here’s a scenario. Your guy goes out with his boys. It’s his first night out ever since he hooked up with you. You’re okay with that but as the night progresses, you start texting him and calling him every five minutes asking him when he will be home. You start wondering if he is flirting with other women. Is he cheating on you? You end up leaving your house and going to the club to “check up” on him. You just want to be sure no other woman is cozying up to him. When you display this sort of behavior, the guy will immediately think you are a jealous psycho and he will bolt.

  1. Being a gossip

So you have some juicy stories about Sandra’s cheating boyfriend and you can’t wait to tell your new hot guy. In fact, you can’t wait to tell him about Mona’s accidental pregnancy. You can’t imagine how someone would get pregnant by accident. Haven’t they heard of contraceptives?

As you sit there gossiping about other people’s business, your man will probably be thinking that he should keep his mouth shut or else you will air out his laundry for everyone to see. And yes, he will run as fast as he can away from you.

  1. You are too controlling

There was this couple that went out to dinner. The guy ordered some greasy fried chicken while the lady ordered a potato salad. When their food arrived, the girl decided that what the guy had ordered was “unhealthy” and she was watching his waistline. She didn’t want him to grow fat. So she ordered for him a salad. She even insisted on showing him how to use the salad fork. Yes, this is a real story.

When a guy sees you are controlling, he starts imagining that that’s how your relationship will be the entire time you are together. He would rather bolt than have to deal with your controlling behavior.

  1. Flirting openly

Okay, so maybe your intention is to make him a little jealous. You flirt a little with other guys in his presence just to make sure he knows you’re still a catch. This is wrong because that’s not the message you are sending across. In his mind he is thinking you’re a sleaze even if you are not. Men and women like being prioritized and flirting with other men in front of him is plain disrespectful.

  1. Claim staking

Three dates in and you have already changed your Facebook status. In fact, you are now talking to him about marriage and babies. Phew…talk about going from 0-100 real fast! You haven’t even given him time to figure out what he likes about you or if he likes you. Give yourself space to enjoy your blossoming romance. In time you will talk about where your relationship stands. Or maybe you won’t. But remember you are not a couple until you are a couple!

  1. Sharing sexual history too soon

Sex is a delicate subject. Some guys figure that a woman is a slut if she has slept with more than one guy. Some prefer to date virgins and others don’t care how many guys you’ve slept with. Bottom line is: it’s an uncomfortable subject to discuss with a guy you’ve known for only a few dates.

Whatever you do, don’t ever tell a guy your sexcapades unless it turns him on or he asks. He doesn’t want to hear how you slept with 26 guys in 26 days for 26 minutes. Save that talk for your girlfriends.

Now you know what not to do during the first few dates of your relationship. These tips could help you avoid some major pitfalls that could end a new relationship before it even starts. -Jackline K.