According to a 2013 study conducted by Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, about 35% of married couples met online. Online dating is the way to meet that special someone, but moving your online conquests offline in a timely manner can be a bit of a challenge. This article will detail how to increase your chances of moving your online dating to the real world within minutes in five easy steps.
1. Make interesting, honest initial contact. How many times can one be attracted to a “Hi” messages in one day? Stand out from the crowd by actually reading the profile of several people you find intriguing. Of course physical attraction will invite you in to the profile, but reading the profile is the key to making sure there are some commonalities in interests and desires. Once you’ve pinpointed that the attractive face also has some like goals and interests, and then it is time to make that initial contact.
Be intriguing and make him/her want to respond by starting a brief message like this:
“Greetings from the answer to your prayers! I’m NAME and I like going camping (something you actually like to do that was on his/her profile) too.”
“Good afternoon, Ms. SCREEN NAME. Why did you choose that name? I’m Joe and I chose my screen name because I love football. I see that you like basketball. What other sports do you like to watch or play?”
You get the point. “Hi” is not a good way to spark engaging conversation!
2. When your love interest responds, and he or she will, engage in more open and honest communication.
Explain why you’re on the site:
“I’m new in town and I’m looking to explore my new hometown.”
“I’m not really looking for a serious relationship, but we have a lot in common so you never know what our friendship could develop into.”
“I’m moving to CITY which isn’t too far from you and would like to settle in the area.”
All of these statements are great ways to tell enough to get someone curious or even shut it down before it starts because of unmatched relationship goals. Either way, you’d rather know now that compatibility doesn’t exist than to be dishonest and suffer once feelings get involved. It is also during this step that you encourage your love interest to check you out on social media. Make sure you have some of your best pictures public, so you will not have to accept friend requests from a bunch of strangers. Your love interest at this point should do a quick internet search to make sure you are not a scammer, so help him/her find you to increase the comfort level.
3. Now you’re cooking! You are in an engaging albeit slow conversation. Offer to move to an instant messenger (IM) feature on the site, if it is available. This will allow you to have a real time conversation asking questions in response to the information you are given and answer questions about pictures on your social media sites.
A great question to ask is:
“I’ve been on the site for HOW LONG and I’m taking everything in stride knowing that when the time is right, I’ll meet that special one. How has this site helped you with your goal of finding a long-term relationship (WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR from the profile)?”
This question will weed out the problems because if the person has been on the site for a long time and hasn’t had any success with their profile relationship goal, that goal is misleading! Red flag! If your love interest states that he/she wants a long-term relationship, but has been on the site for six years, there is a problem. Run! Also during this step, you should have enough information to do a quick internet search for your own safety and comfort.
4. You’re almost there! If you and your love interest have the time to remain in constant communication via IM, steps 2 and 3 should take about 15-20 minutes from the time of response to your initial contact.
Now it is time to seal the deal:
“From our brief communication, I feel like I’d like to take this conversation to texting or talking, if you feel comfortable with that? I don’t like to spend too much time on this site because I actually have work to do lol (or smilie to show a playful tone) and because I’m actually looking for someone special.”
If you’re on IM, you will know immediately if you have a favorable reply.
5. If your love interest doesn’t feel comfortable yet, then respond like this:
“I understand totally. Here is my number and email address. When you feel comfortable, please contact me. Until then, I’ll have a reason to frequent the site more because of you.”
Be sure to reinforce the topics you two discussed in steps 3 and 4 while checking on the status of his/her comfort level with step 4 in the following days. Consistency wins!
However, if your love interest responds to step 4 with his/her contact information, CONGRATULATIONS! Use it wisely. Immediately send a text so your love interest will have your contact information as well.
Lastly, if you don’t feel comfortable giving out your number, set up a voice over internet protocol (VOIP) account. You will have a separate number for your dating purposes. You may even suggest this to someone you really like, but who has been burned by online dating before.
You have the tools you need to make the initial contact, engage in meaningful conversation that ramps up from messages back and forth to instant, and lastly to the promise of actually hearing your love interest’s voice. — by Amanda Gia