The Desirability Factor

Some of the most well-deserving people succumb to feelings of doubt and undesirability, but the fundamental issue lies in one’s self-esteem. When you get to the point of feeling desirable, you will exude a confidence that, in turn, will make you desirable to others. The key to reaching that point is recognizing your unique qualities and finding comfort in how valuable that makes you as a person.

Boost Your Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

Subconsciously, people look at their social environment and gather information to analyze it. With that information people form perceptions of themselves. These perceptions include how they view their own behavior in social settings – analyzing their own social interactions, explains psychotherapist Michael J. Formica in his Psychology Today article, “Reframing Self-Esteem as Self-Worth.” Try focusing on the positive aspects of yourself and your positive interactions with people. Learn to appreciate and value those aspects. Self-value is an inside job and therefore requires fine-tuning from time to time. It takes practice to be optimistic.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, which tends to lead to negative self-judgment, take conscious control of your self-talk, suggests metaphysicist Asoka Selvarajah in the Self Growth article, “Self-Esteem: The Problem Behind All Problems.” Use positive affirmations. For example, you might say to yourself, “I am an attractive person with a great sense of humor, full of immense value and who deserves to be loved.” When you catch yourself thinking negatively, turn it around by using a positive affirmation – a mantra, if you will – and strengthen your resolve to be happy; someone who people desire to be with and to be around.

Let Your Personality Shine