The Desirability Factor

Some of the most well-deserving people succumb to feelings of doubt and undesirability, but the fundamental issue lies in one’s self-esteem. When you get to the point of feeling desirable, you will exude a confidence that, in turn, will make you desirable to others. The key to reaching that point is recognizing your unique qualities and finding comfort in how valuable that makes you as a person.

Boost Your Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

Subconsciously, people look at their social environment and gather information to analyze it. With that information people form perceptions of themselves. These perceptions include how they view their own behavior in social settings – analyzing their own social interactions, explains psychotherapist Michael J. Formica in his Psychology Today article, “Reframing Self-Esteem as Self-Worth.” Try focusing on the positive aspects of yourself and your positive interactions with people. Learn to appreciate and value those aspects. Self-value is an inside job and therefore requires fine-tuning from time to time. It takes practice to be optimistic.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, which tends to lead to negative self-judgment, take conscious control of your self-talk, suggests metaphysicist Asoka Selvarajah in the Self Growth article, “Self-Esteem: The Problem Behind All Problems.” Use positive affirmations. For example, you might say to yourself, “I am an attractive person with a great sense of humor, full of immense value and who deserves to be loved.” When you catch yourself thinking negatively, turn it around by using a positive affirmation – a mantra, if you will – and strengthen your resolve to be happy; someone who people desire to be with and to be around.

Let Your Personality Shine

Manifest your positive qualities – a sense of humor is just as attractive as having a sexy, tone and tight physique. Whatever it is that makes you unique, that je ne sais quoi that makes your friends want to hang out with you 24/7, those are the qualities you’ll want to show the world. We don’t all desire the same kind of person, so it’s important to be yourself. It shouldn’t feel like you’re trying too hard and it certainly shouldn’t feel like work. Being comfortable in your own skin is the key to attracting others. Focus on your positive personality traits. If you enjoy volunteer work, then let the humanitarian within you shine – go out and feed the poor or help build a house through a non-profit organization. Not only will you attract the right person for you, but you’ll also be desired by a person who shares your passions.

Display an Enthusiastic Attitude

Being desirable doesn’t mean you have to be rich or good looking. When you truly find life enjoyable, it shows and others take notice. Just smile, make eye contact, be enthusiastic about life and show enthusiasm with others, explains psychologist Suzanne B. Phillips in her Psych Central blog, “Enhancing Your Sexuality: Six Important Strategies.” Making eye contact is important; it’s a body language that not only shows you’re listening, but also manifests feelings of respect, and displays a genuine interest in the other person.

Enthusiasm, however, requires a little more effort than smiling and eye contact alone. For example, when someone tells a joke, let yourself laugh whole-heartedly. When you’re experiencing something new, perhaps the view from a mountain hike, take pictures, share your experiences, express yourself in all forms. People will desire you and desire to be around you more because of the enthusiastic attitude you bestow upon them. Enthusiasm is attractive and draws people in because it epitomizes feelings of happiness and everyone desires to be happy.

Wear What Makes You Feel Desirable

A t-shirt and sweats are comfortable for lying around the house on a rainy day, but it won’t necessarily make you feel desirable or be desired. If what you are wearing does not make you feel desirable, it shows and others will not desire you because you are not exuding that attitude of self-confidence. If wearing nylon stockings and a garter belt underneath your work attire makes you feel desirable, then do it! Perhaps muscle shirts make you feel masculine -wear them! Whatever gives you that extra pep in your step, do it and do it often until feeling desirable becomes second nature. People will naturally be drawn to you.  –By:  Kimberlationism

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