Imagine meeting a beautiful stranger and having the unexpected pleasure of partaking in that person’s company for a few minutes in time. You exchange pleasantries, talk about current events and tell each other about future aspirations. Sparks fly and it becomes apparent that you must see this person again. Telephone numbers are exchanged and hope of a true connection is born. Everything done from this point on will either nurture that connection or destroy it, so the method of communication is important for setting the right tone and for fanning the flame. Texting is a popular choice, but is it a good way to connect to a new love interest? Let’s examine what is really being communicated when text messages are the primary method of communication by identifying some types of text senders.
Type 1 – On the Go! Go! GO!
The first type of messenger uses their activity as a buffer to connection. They may have a demanding work schedule or multiple activities competing for time, such as school, work, club affiliations and volunteering. The text is an easy way to show interest, but the real question is whether or not the person will be able to actually spend any real time creating a bond. If a relationship is desired then time is essential to build it.
Type 2- Spaghetti Against The Wall
The next type of messenger likes to test the waters and see what works. This type plays the field. They will send the same text to five others at the same time, and want to see how many will respond. The attention is the main reason for doing this, and although the attraction is real, what was supposed to happen next was not really considered. They have fun with all who respond, and feel warm and fuzzy just being wanted.
Type 3 – Get To The Good Part
The next type likes to skip the preliminaries and quickly get to the benefits. This type shows interest but only wants a surface connection. They will text here and there or try to converse through text to feign interest, but will take advantage of the small character limit and not really say much. This is because they are afraid of saying something that could reveal their shallow intent, so they keep it short and sweet and just try to arrange face-to-face interaction to advance an agenda to escalate things to a physical encounter. Text takes a while, and yet it can create the illusion of a long conversation because of the amount of time it takes to go back and forth in a conversation. When you examine a text conversation for an hour time period you will find that very little was revealed. The same amount of time having a conversation by phone would allow a person to interpret tone, get more personal with questioning, assess pauses and word delivery, and examine the flow of words to determine truthfulness and sincerity.
Text messaging is a convenient medium, but it is not the way to communicate complex ideas and feelings and to express deep thoughts. One would have to question just how much desire can be there if a person makes no effort to really talk. One behavior is not enough to draw a conclusion, however, so make sure to consider the other things that a person does when getting to know you. If you really want to communicate in other ways then simply take text messaging off the table for a while and express that you do not wish to do it. If there is resistance, then perhaps the sparks with the beautiful stranger were meant to fizzle out. by R Writes