Sometimes it is about the paper!
A question that comes up a lot more lately is women wondering what to do if they make more money than their boyfriend/partner/husband does. “Am I hurting his ego? What can I do to make him feel better?”
Firstly, good on you. You’re defying the statistics, making a living in the “man’s world” and proving that you can have a relationship at the same time. Clearly you’re doing something right. Hard work and determination are paying off and you’re reaping the rewards, so you should be proud.
And so should he, if he’s not?
Right off the bat, I highly recommend you remove the phrase, “don’t worry, I’ll pay for it” or “don’t worry, I got it” from your vocabulary right now.
If a guy who is already stressed about his finances and his inability to provide is getting in the way the way of the relationship, this is sure to cause him discomfort. For you, it may seem like a simple. If your are attempting to make plans and he is shutting them down because he may not be able to afford them and you can, you must flip the script.
Don’t ask him, tell him. “Mi amor, I’m gonna rent a house for the weekend, would you like to come? It sleeps 4 but I just want to sleep 1, you in?” You’ll see, it’s a better way to avoid what could be a road block.
In regards to keeping his esteem up, make him feel needed. Forget about the cash situation, even if you are a shredded yoga/pilates/crossfit/kickboxing fox who can do her share of lifting around the house, DON’T DO IT. Ask him for help. “Can you install my AC? You are so good with your hands. Can you tighten the breaks on my bike?” If you are big ballin’ at your job, there’s a good chance you are a do-it-yourself chica, so just remember to fall back and let him in on helping…especially if the dude can cook.
I hope these tweaks tweak his mindset in the right direction because you sound like a winner who might be riding the wave of the future. Check this quote from the Wall Street Journal.
” … female hedge fund managers produced a return of nearly 9% through the third quarter of 2012, while their male counterparts, according to the HFRX Global Hedge Fund Index, choked out a mere 2.69% net return through September. Yet, despite their higher returns, female-run hedge funds are a small minority of the industry.”
Welcome to the future.