You are 20-Something and He is 40-Plus: 10 Tips to Make the Relationship Work

George Clooney is taken, but he still makes women swoon. Over 50, Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and Patrick Dempsey still make women’s hearts flutter. The charisma of a silver fox is not just in his salt-and-pepper hair. Younger women also fall for their gravity, wisdom, and maturity–qualities that make older men seem more stable and reliable than their younger and wilder counterparts. After all, women yearn for a guy who is more into them than the let’s-just-hang-out types.

If you are 20-something and have your eyes on a dashing and suave 40-plus gentleman who you want to ask out or have started dating one, learn how to make the relationship work. The challenge for you is to understand a man who is at a different stage of life than you are.

1. Don’t hog his time.

If he is 40-plus, it is likely that he is well-settled in his career and holds a responsible position in office. He has meetings to attend and deadlines to meet. Don’t expect him to meet you every evening after work or chat with you till the wee hours. He probably has more work responsibilities than you have.

Also, your beau has been in this world for much longer than you have been. He might have kids from an earlier relationship. They may stay with him or he visits them. He needs time to interact with his kids without feeling guilty that he is neglecting you. So don’t nag him for a date. Instead, do your own thing. After all, you have chosen to date the whole man that also includes the other parts of his life.

2. Accept that he can’t be as footloose and fancy-free as you are.

Because the 40-plus man is saddled with more responsibilities than you have right now, he can’t be as spontaneous as you are. He can’t go off on impromptu trips because he has a job or has to make arrangements for his kids.