It’s a pretty common complaint that a lot of women seem only to attract jerks and losers, but they don’t know why.
The answer is not quite as simple as you being some sort of jerk magnet, though, but more that you might accidentally be self-sabotaging yourself without even realizing it.
Not to fear, all of these reasons are completely fixable. Here are five reasons why you attract jerks:
1. You don’t like your reflection.
Self-confidence really is very sexy.
But if you don’t like how you look in the mirror, you’re going to be giving off that vibe subconsciously with people that you meet.
Change, baby. If you are upset about some aspect of your appearance, emotional life, job, family or anything else, do the work to change it. Work on building your confidence. Work on letting your past go so that you can move happily into a fresh and clean future. Time and energy spent on self-improvement is always worth it — after all, that’s why you are here right?
2. You’re unhappy, and you go out of your way to make sure people know it.
If you’re unhappy with your life and instead of doing something to actively change it for the better, you constantly complain about it to others, the negative vibe you give off will just naturally attract more negativity. You may end up staying in bad relationships because you think it’s better than being single.
Once you accept that being single can be wonderful, as well as finding things that make you less miserable, and choosing to instead have a positive outlook, you’re going to attract happier people.
When you don’t settle for being miserable, then that reflects on your behavior and how others see you.
3. You appear to have low dating standards (or none at all).
If you’re standards are “they’re breathing” then you might have a problem. No one really wants to admit that their standards are so rock bottom but when people sell themselves short, it effects their lives greatly.
The kind of behavior you accept at the beginning of your relationship is the type of behavior that you will continue to receive.
Make yourself a list of qualities you’d like in a mate and then stick to it! Use online dating if necessary and allow algorithms to help you screen for advanced qualities. Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll, at least, get some practice for IRL dating.
4. You allow yourself to be a doormat.
Don’t be afraid to demand respect. This is good both in the workplace and in relationships. No matter your position in life or where you’re at, you deserve to be treated well. If you speak up about feeling hurt or disrespected in honest and with clear examples, either things will improve or they’ll reveal their true colors. Either way, you approached the situation like an adult and showed that you wouldn’t allow yourself to be treated poorly anymore.
5. You’re not aware of what’s good for you.
As the adage goes, “if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.”
When you meet someone who seems like they have potential and everything is going well, wait and see if they’re being genuine first. While you’re at it, enjoy yourself. Let them shower you with gifts and attention.
However, don’t go ahead and get married to this person after a short period. If they’re really in it for the long haul and aren’t using you, then they won’t mind waiting to get together.
We hope these tips help you in the dating world and letting the right people into your lives/avoid toxicity. -C. Sky