One of the hardest tasks ever!
Getting over a romantic relationship, especially one that you did not initiate, can have you feeling lost and devastated. It’s the end of a chapter in your life that you wanted a different ending for. You have to remember it’s only one chapter, and you need to accept the ending in order to begin the next chapter in your life.
Here are five tips for putting yourself on the road to recovery.
1. Cut off all ties.
This is the most difficult step, yet, the most necessary. Don’t try to remain “friends.” Delete pictures on your phone of your former partner, return his belongings, and take back yours. But don’t use these as opportunities to see him. Have a friend be the go between to accomplish these tasks. If you and your partner attend the same health club, either go at times when you know he won’t be there, or change health clubs. Avoid places where you know he spends a lot of time at.
Of course if children are involved, or you work at the same place, cutting all ties will be harder, if impossible to do. Do your best to minimize contact. It will help you get over your breakup faster.
2. Rediscover yourself.
When we are in a relationship, sometimes we become defined by that relationship. Some people lose a sense of individuality. If this has happened to you, now is the time to rediscover who you are. Call an old friend who you haven’t seen recently to catch up on old times. Read a book by your favorite author. Revisit a pastime that you used to enjoy. Take some time off and visit a family member or close friend. Or just take a long weekend and walk along the beach and think about the things that you once loved but put on the back burner because of your relationship.
3. Try something completely new.
We all have things that we say we would love to do if we only had the time. Well, now that you are single, time is not an issue. Learn the language you always wanted to learn. Take up that hobby you always found fascinating. Do some volunteer work, helping others is not only rewarding, but will help occupy your thoughts. If sports is your thing, join a sports league or help coach others. Do something you’ve never done!
4. Seek spiritual consolation.
Discover or rediscovering your spiritual side. This can involve either connecting to a traditional religious practice or a calming practice such as meditation or yoga. There are many resources for fulfilling your spiritual side and the Internet has a wealth of information for finding what you need. Remember that becoming attuned to your spiritual side is a part of maintaining your overall health and finding solace in your new life.
5. If necessary, seek professional help.
Let’s face it, sometimes all the rediscovery and spiritual guidance just doesn’t work. If after trying a few of these tips, months later you still find yourself depressed or obsessed, professional help may be needed. Never feel embarrassed or ashamed to need professional counseling. Knowing when to ask for help from a mental health professional is a sign of strength and should be done in a timely manner.
Not going to lie, the process of recovering from a difficult breakup can be long and arduous. But it varies from person to person and situation to situation. Just because your girlfriend got over her breakup in a matter of weeks, doesn’t mean the same will be true for you. Just because you where over your last boyfriend in no time flat, doesn’t mean this one won’t take longer. Be patient with yourself. Take advantage of these tips and other techniques to find healing and new hope. -by Char Brown