Communication is one of the most important factors in any relationship. Keeping up a healthy, open dialogue between you and your partner will cause the bond you have with one another to thrive. In contrast, inadequate communication may be a factor in scaring off your partner. To ensure that your partner is by your side for the long haul, there are a few things you should avoid saying to your significant other without fully explaining your position.
1. “I Don’t Want/Like Kids.”
Not wanting to have kids can potentially be a huge deal-breaker in a relationship. It’s important to pick your words carefully and not throw your words around casually. If you’re not sure how to bring up the subject, try starting the dialogue in a controlled environment such as in relationship counseling and learn how to communicate honestly without scaring away the one you love.
2. “I Can’t Keep a Job.”
Having a partner with job stability is often a deciding factor in choosing or staying with someone. You may feel like you can be honest with your partner, but admitting to financial insecurity could be your downfall. If you admit that you don’t have a steady career, it can equate to a lack of stability to your partner, even if it only means you don’t have a job at the moment.
3. “I Am Not Sure How Much Money I Have.”
If you’re bad at money management or aren’t able to budget, it can be a quick turn off that will show you’re not financially stable. If you handle the budget, do your best to manage the money you both bring in responsibly and show you respect your partner enough to not go crazy with it. A relationship therapist or financial counselor can help with this by giving advice on how to avoid financial pitfalls that can develop. Relationship counseling can help both partners learn how to manage their money together as a team.
4. “I Don’t Get Along With Your Mom.”
A huge turnoff in a relationship is when one partner isn’t able to get along with the other person’s family. While it’s perfectly valid to not get along with your partner’s mother, avoid complaining to your significant other and talk to a professional instead who can offer advice. Bad-mouthing your partner’s family will likely cause them to become offended and view you in a negative light.
5. “I Hate my Life.”
Often when you complain about your life, it can look like you’re seeking pity. Try to avoid being self-deprecating, as the negativity can wear on your partner until it begins pushing the person you love away. No one wants to be around someone who has a “woe is me” attitude and is negative all the time. You may need to seek professional help, rather than put all that negative energy on your partner.
6. “I Just Want to Be Happy.”
Stating that you’re unhappy with life can make it seem like you aren’t happy with your current relationship. Even if you are happy in the relationship but are unhappy with certain aspects of your life your partner will assume that they don’t contribute anything positive to your life. Or that maybe you’re just too hard to please. This is where being able to communicate with your partner about exactly what you are unhappy with comes in handy.
These issues, like others, may need to be remedied with a relationship coach or therapy to open up a line of dialogue so that you and your partner can better understand one another and have a long, healthy, happy relationship. – Chrissy S.