He’s hot, he’s smart, he’s sexy, he’s funny, he’s the right height and every time you see him he makes your knees weak. If given a chance, you would jump right at it and have your way with him. The only problem is he is your friend’s ex boyfriend. Dating a friend’s ex is just messy and outright wrong. There will be fights, sides will be chosen and a lot of shade will be thrown your way. Here are more reasons why you should keep your hands off your friend’s ex.
- It’s going to be weird
Wouldn’t it bother you that your friend made out with this guy? He probably will make out with you the way he made out with her. Your friend probably had sex on the same bed you are going to sleep with this guy. Okay, so maybe the icky factor might not turn you off because you’re one of those girls who say “every relationship is different and he won’t do the things he did with my friend in the past, bla bla bla”. But it still remains that he’s the same guy your friend was with and that would feel a little bit strange.
- The jealousy
No matter how confident you are, you will always compare yourself to your friend if you get into a relationship with your friend’s ex. People in regular relationships sometimes get jealous of their partner’s ex so imagine how much worse it will be for you. Not only do you know who the ex (your friend) is, but you’re also friends. You can’t delete her the way you would delete a Facebook friend. Your friend set a bar when she dated this guy and you will have to live with the burden of living up to your friend.
- There will be fights
Oh yes, you should be prepared for the fights you will have with your ex’s boyfriend, your friend and your pack of girlfriends. You will disagree with your friend which events to attend simply because her ex will be there. Stupid fights about your friend will crop up. You might even be ousted by your clique of girlfriends if they think you are a Judas for dating your friend’s ex.
- You could lose both
Does the saying “sisters before misters” ring a bell? When you get into a relationship with your friend’s ex, it just shows that you don’t value your relationship with your friend. And, there is a high chance that your relationship with the ex might end for a number of reasons. Even if you did go back to being friends with your girlfriend, it would never be the same as before.
- You’re asking your friends to pick sides
It’s never a good idea to date someone within your group of friends. It’s an even worse idea to date one of your friend’s ex’s because you will be forcing your friends to choose sides. Both you and your friends will crave support from the people who matter to you, including your friends. On one hand you want your friends to support your new relationship and on the other hand, your friend will want your circle of friends to disapprove your relationship with her ex. Do you really want to put your friends through that kind of drama?
- You will kill the intimacy
Your friend probably told you everything there is to know about the ex in question. She probably told you his favorite color, favorite food, his favorite movie and so many other intimate details. There’s basically nothing new to learn about him. You won’t get to experience the excitement of learning about each other because you already have a head start. The process of falling in love will be well, tainted at the very least if not boring.
Here’s The Only Time You Should Date Your Friend’s Ex
The only time you should consider dating your friend’s ex is when he was just something casual and you know for sure she didn’t have any real feelings for him. But if she had real feelings for this guy just stay away even if he is the guy of your dreams. There is no statute of limitations when it comes to relationships so it doesn’t matter how long ago they broke up. It also doesn’t matter if she is the one who broke up with him; you are still not entitled to date him. There’s really no need to saddle yourself with unnecessary emotional guilt and drama. – Jackline K.