I think we can all agree that having you and your girls take him for a “long ride” is not conducive to healing… at least not in the long run.
As the old Neil Sedaka song puts it, “breaking up is hard to do.” Whether you are the initiator or the receiver of the bad news, the sting of this painful declaration can leave you feeling hurt and upset for many weeks, months, or even years to come. It doesn’t matter if it is a breakup involving your first love, or the person you have spent a great deal of your adult life married to, your heart will probably ache for a while as you learn to accept your new life as a single person. Instead of wasting away on the couch eating bon-bons or your weight in potato chips and ice cream, going on drinking binges, or engaging in other self-destructive behaviors, take some time to get to know yourself again and heal your broken heart in a healthy way.
Don’t Hold Grudges
One of the worst things you can do for yourself is to hold a grudge against others. No matter who initiated the breakup, or what it was for, you can’t spend the rest of your life hating your partner and holding grudges against them. No matter how hard it seems to do at the time, try to forgive the other person, so that you can move on with your life and not be inundated with feelings of anger and stress. Over time, these feelings can lead to health problems, and this will not be helpful during your quest in finding your life once again.
Reflect and Move On
One of the best things you can do following a breakup is to reflect on your life and figure out what you want for your future. You can look back on things that did not work in your previous relationship, and make the changes you need to make in your own life. Whether your former lover was the problem in the relationship, or if it was your own unwillingness to change, you can avoid making the same mistakes with the next relationship.
Once you have had a chance to reflect on what went wrong in your relationship, it is time to move on and put the past behind you. You have the rest of your life to live, and it will be time to start looking for greener pastures.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
A breakup is the death of a relationship, and you have to give yourself time to grieve and mourn over the loss, especially if you were not the one who initiated it in the first place. The more unexpected the breakup is, the more it hurts your heart in the beginning. The first few days following a breakup are rough. You will go through spurts of euphoria, anger, profound sadness, and everything in between. Embrace each feeling as they come, and try to learn something new about yourself during the process. Depending on the amount of time you had invested in the relationship, you may go through several waves of emotion before you start to feel normal again.
Friends, Family, and Support Groups
Friends and family will be your saving grace after a breakup. These are the people who will come over to your house at 2am if you need some urgent support or a shoulder to cry on. These are also the people who will keep your mind off the pain and anger you may be feeling. After a breakup, try to surround yourself with the ones you love, and let them cheer you up the best way they know how to. If you find yourself newly divorced, or the equivalent, consider going to a support group and talk things out with people who are in the same boat as you. It sometimes help to talk to others who are going through the same emotions as you are, because they are the ones who will fully understand your position.
Exercise and Health
Eating a healthy diet and getting exercise are always important factors to consider in your life, but become even more vital when you are feeling the waves of emotion that come with experiencing a breakup. Take some time to learn how to make healthy foods at home. You can attend a cooking class, or pull up some videos on YouTube. You will get to enjoy the fruits of your labor, and just may impress a future special someone with your cooking skills.
Exercise is also vitally important to your health and well-being. Take out your frustrations and sadness on a treadmill or by taking a long hike. You will start to feel better on the inside, and will look even more fantastic on the outside. After a couple of months in a regular workout routine, you will be able to dawn your favorite suit or cocktail dress, and hit the dating market looking good.
Take Some “Me Time”
A little “me time” never hurt anyone, and may just be your ticket to moving on with your life. There are some days in which you will want to be by yourself, and there is nothing wrong with this. It is your life, and now that you do not have to answer to anyone, take some time to do the things you have always wanted to do. If you want to skydive out of an airplane…go for it. If you want to stand on the corner at a popular shopping center and offer free random hugs…embrace the feeling. If you want everyone to leave you alone for the day so you can explore nature on your own terms … turn off your cell phone and do it!
Breakups do not have to be the end of the world, or send you spiraling down a funnel of self-pity. You will feel waves of different emotions when it first happens, and this is completely normal. The key is to embrace the feelings you have, and look for constructive ways to cope so you can heal your heart and eventually move on with your life. – Rosyrain