The problem with myths is we mistake them for facts. Most of the marriage myths we hear about nowadays come from pop culture or inside our own families. We have become so accustomed to seeing and hearing about these myths that we start thinking facts are myths. So here are 7 marriage myths you’ve probably heard about.
- The more educated a woman is, the lower her chances are of getting married
This is obviously not true. A lot of women today have college degrees. A good example is the first lady Michelle Obama. She has a degree in law and she is married. We think that this myth about educated women not being able to find husbands is a stupid rumor started by men who feel intimidated by successful women.
- Marriage is 50-50
Most couples get married knowing it’s going to be even-steven. You and your partner should give the same and compromise the same, right? Well, that only works if you are running a business and we’ll tell you why.
So imagine a situation where you did the laundry, picked up the kids from school and prepared dinner. You obviously expect your partner to at least wash the dishes and fold the laundry, right? But he doesn’t do it and this is making you furious. You confront him and he gets defensive. He starts listing all the things he did for the day. You don’t care what he did all day because he still didn’t do what you expected him to and this makes you even more furious.
As you can see, marriage can never be 50/50. Sometimes it feels like it’s 90/10 or 95/5 and there’s nothing wrong with that. When you start doing things out of love, it all starts to even out at some point.
- You should share the same interests as your husband
It’s nice when the two of you can enjoy something together but it doesn’t mean all your interests have to be the same in order to make your marriage successful. If your husband likes football, you don’t have to pretend to like football and he too doesn’t have to pretend to like watching reruns of sex and the city. You should respect the fact that he prefers to watch football over sex and the city and vice versa for the sake of peace in your relationship.
Well, you surely can’t expect the excitement and intensity you felt when you first had sex with your husband during your courtship days to remain the same throughout your marriage, do you? Things actually get better when you are married. According to a large scale national study, married couples have more satisfying sex than couples who aren’t married. The reason why sex feels better is because married couples express their love more and connect better emotionally.
- Some general rules about marriage should be followed
Everyone believes that once you get married, kids should come next. It’s the general rule and people expect to see your baby bump in a few months. There are exceptions to the rules so you have to discuss with your partner what marriage looks like for you before you get married.
Having kids is a major life decision and you both have to be in on it. Your husband might also have some other beliefs like he expects you to be a stay-at-home-mom once kids come into the picture. If you don’t discuss this before marriage, your marriage will have more problems than you anticipated.
- Marriage will make both you and your husband happy
When your husband doesn’t do what you expect him to, you start blaming him for your unhappiness. For instance, you start saying to yourself “if only he did more housework” or “if only we went out to dinner more often I would be happy”.
If you rely on your husband to make you happy, you will never be happy. Happiness starts with you; you are in charge of your own happiness. So if you are not happy with yourself as an individual, you will never be happy in your marriage.
- Co-habiting before marriage leads to a happy marriage
This is not necessarily true. Many couples think that living together will give them an idea of what to expect when they get married. But statistics show that 60% of couples who live together before marriage don’t get married. Besides, a pretend marriage is nothing like the real thing.
What other myths about marriage have heard about? We’d love to know. written by Jackie K.
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