When we look at love and relationships, sometimes the one truth that gets missed in all the talk and analysis is the one that matters the most. Men have a built-in desire that many women don’t fully appreciate. It’s natural and innate, and it’s one of the blessings of what men can do for women.
What is this desire?
It’s their need to please women. We want nothing more than to make the women in our life happy.
In fact, men work their skinny butts off to do what they can to make you happy to have him around. And when we get that smile from you, it’s redeeming on a level that is downright spiritual.
So let’s briefly mention seven of the ways men channel that desire to please women and how we show you our love:
Way He Wins Your Heart #1 – Those crazy songs and poems…
Face it, we wouldn’t have nearly as many crazy love songs and poems without guys to write them about the women in their life. Even when it’s angst, it’s still ripe for a “you complete me” lyric or two.
All those literary marvels of romantic invention were also created by the select few men (and women) who are better able to put those emotions into words. Most guys can’t do it. Which, I suppose, is why guys love to give girls “Mix tapes” and song dedications.
Way He Wins Your Heart #2 – Chick flicking with you.
Ah, romantic comedies. Hey, I’m not claiming that these are all written and directed by men… What I’m saying is that even when we roll our eyes and complain about having to go see the latest romantic movie with you, there’s still a part of us that is drawn in and totally relates to it.
After all, one of my favorite movies is “Titanic.” (Shhh… don’t tell anyone that.)
Way He Wins Your Heart #3 – Buys you stuff.
Now this one is a mixed bag, as they say. Guys often use the whole gift-giving thing as a crutch, and you know when they’re trying to “buy” their way into your heart. Ironically, complaining that women are gold-diggers in the process.
After all, guys don’t mind giving like this, as long as it’s appreciated – and it’s not EXPECTED or taken for granted.
So when he gives you a gift, do your darnedest to make him think he did something very cool.
Way He Wins Your Heart #4 – Listens to you.
Even when he’s incredibly bored by the minute details that just don’t matter to him, he’s still there in the conversation most of the time. We put on our best “I’m paying attention” face and go along with you – the same way you do for us.
Men get a really bad rap for not listening to women, but that’s usually only the case when his attention span has been stretched a bit too far.
(Oh, and you won’t ever risk boring him if you’ve completed the “How To Talk To Men” section of Forever Yours – The Secret Password To His Heart!)
Way He Wins Your Heart #5 – He asks you for help.
Whether that’s picking out a present for his mom, or asks for your input on why his boss is being such a jerk, when a man asks for your input – that’s amore. Love with a capital L.
Men only open up about these things and allow you to take part in them because he’s put you in a special place in his heart. It’s a trusting place, because most men work through these life situations on their own. His willingness to share them with you shows that he respects and genuinely cares for you.
Way He Wins Your Heart #6 – He does the dirty work.
Whether that’s running to the store to get you some tampons, or washing and waxing your car – this is one of the most under-valued aspects of a man. Women love the romance, and rightfully so. Just don’t ignore those often misunderstood romantic gestures he makes.
It’s how men show they care, by helping you out and making your life just a little bit easier. It’s all to make you happy, and make himself a valuable part of your life.
Way He Wins Your Heart #7 – He doesn’t have to always say it…
This one is going to leave you with mixed feelings – because it’s one of those things women love to hear so much.
You WANT him to tell you he loves you. And he should do that… from time to time.
But the most sincere way a man actually does tell you he loves you are the other 6 ways we’ve talked about here. And the countless others I haven’t mentioned where he SHOWS you he loves you. That’s how many men communicate their feelings – through our actions. We’re men, and that’s just natural for us.
Our efforts are the proof of our sincerity.
So the next time he does something – especially if it took some effort on his part – take a few seconds to verbally appreciate him and let him know you see what he’s doing.
Because a man’s drive to please women is a fragile thing, if he doesn’t see that you recognize his effort. The disappointment a man feels when a woman overlooks or takes his actions for granted is heartbreaking – and it’s also one of the reasons men become cold and distant. They don’t feel validated and appreciated.
Now, if you’ve been reading this, and you feel that the man in your life has become unresponsive or withdrawn, you can pull him back to you. Or even if you feel like he’s just not as open to your love as he could be – there is hope. — By Carlos Cavallo