Dating profiles are easy to create, but they can also be some of the loneliest and creepiest places on the internet. With going online these days being as common as it is, the bar scene or blind date hookups just don’t make as much sense anymore. Online dating can be an effective tool for broadening your reach for potential mates, but this is only true if you use some smarts about how you go about it.
First, ask some basic questions about your profile. What is particularly special or attention-getting about your profile as opposed to everyone else’s? Ask yourself: Am I sharing too much too quickly? Am I coming off creepy, overbearing, or extreme in some regard? Do I share too many family details or junk about past relationships? Does that jesting smile look somehow creepy? Am I saying enough about my strength of character, my personal integrity? Am I sharing something that might serve as a bond later on, perhaps about a hardship I had to overcome in life? What real substance do I have in my profile that invites people to connect with who I am?
Second, ask the biggest question of all: Am I someone I would want to date if I were on the other end of a monitor and looking at my profile? If the answer is yes, you might be halfway there!
Third, include a social photo. Let’s say that again and underscore something — include a social photo! Those who upload photos get upwards of 10 times more attention than those who do not. Try to smile, and if possible, limit the use of selfies. Choose rather to include photos of you having fun with friends on social outings. This conveys an inclination toward social acceptance, which lowers potential red flags (this is especially true in the case of single women who get hit on all the time and have developed a more naturally guarded online posturing when guys try to come onto them).
Fourth, make your headline stand out: “Let’s do this!” is more attention-getting than: “Nice guy seeking nice girl.” But be creative. Put some thought into it. Explore the space.
Fifth, don’t use clichés: You may adore long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, or horseback riding, but really, do you ever find time to do that stuff? Say something real about the way you spend time. Avoid excessive and wordy rambling of any kind.
Sixth, run a spell-check: If you have a bunch of misspelled words in your profile, it tells the entire online community that your intelligence is rather limited. It might also convey laziness since. If you do have a good head on your shoulders, why haven’t you taken the time and effort to do things right?
Seventh, try to respond to every sincere personal message you receive: It’s nice and proper. However, from a woman’s standpoint, a lot of time can be wasted by back-and-forth emails since rejection is sometimes hard to take and is often better not announced at all. If you don’t receive a response back when you email someone, remember this point. That person probably gets lots of responses as it is.
Eighth, keep emails brief and ask questions in them: Your first personal message should be investigatory in tone, kind and brief. Questions increase the chances of getting a response. Things may not develop between you and your new interest, so proceed slowly and get to know one another. Don’t be dishonest, but don’t be angry or driven to make points and have them received as you would want. And don’t assume things will necessarily work out. You have not yet built a bond with this person.
Dating itself is somewhat of an art and people have become accustomed to putting up walls to hide the real “them”. In time, learn to proceed slowly and cautiously and get in the habit of seeing those walls come down as you begin to win points and get closer to making a lasting connection.
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