Are You Unknowingly Destroying Your Relationship?

Have you suffered continual failure in relationships? Maybe it’s time to explore yourself and your behavior. Sometimes we are our own biggest enemy, ruining relationships. After one relationship ends we do the same things in our new relationship. Do you know why? Because most of the mistakes that destroy our relationships are done unknowingly. Check out some of the things that you might be doing and change your approach to relationships.

• Mind-reading

We often expect a lot from our partners without expressing exactly what we want. You tell yourself “If he loved me, he would know what I need.” Your partner can not read your mind, just as you can’t read his. This toxic behavior pattern can ruin a relationship.

• The blame game

If you have been unfairly blaming your partner while ignoring his more positive traits, stop doing it or you will ruin your relationship. We all make mistakes, it how the mistakes are rectified that counts. Saying things like, “This is all your fault!” “You should have done a or b not c,” is non-productive, hurtful, and damaging.

• Letting yourself go

We are not saying that gaining a few pounds is grounds to end a relationship but not caring about your appearance because you are in an established relationship is not fair to your partner. Caring about your appearance lets your partner know they are special and deserve you at your best.

• Constant competition with your partner

A successful relationship can develop when you support your partner instead of always competing. Competition implies you are opposing forces of your partner and don’t consider yourselves a team. A little competition can be healthy and fun, but competing about everything, including who is in charge and makes the rules, will induce jealousy and arrogance in your relationship which can ruin it.

• Being dependent on your partner for your happiness

If you are dependent on your partner for your happiness or wait for them to make you happy, you are making a big mistake. If you are not happy within yourself then you can’t be happy in a relationship for long. Be happy in your partner’s happiness, don’t rely on him for yours. You will be disappointed when he can’t always make you happy.

• Spending out of your means

Good marital advice is to make a budget and stick to it. Constant complaints about not having all the luxuries and not being able to live the lavish lifestyle you want will eventually take a toll on your partner. Big ticket items should be discussed and agreed on, and you should each have an agreed upon amount of fun money to spend as you please. Running up a lot of credit card debt is stressful on any relationship.

• Boring sex life

Most of us crave physical interaction, when you repeatedly decline physical intimacy it negatively affects your relationship. Don’t use sex as a tool to control your partner. Make time for romance and intimacy, intimacy does not always mean sex. Consider giving each other massages, foot rubs, cuddling near a fire, or whatever works for you to maintain the intimacy in your relationship.  You can also check out this video presentation to rekindle or keep the fire in your relationship burning.

• Constantly doubting your partner

Unless your partner is doing something to make you doubt him, stop speculating about your partner. Just because he has been working late for the last few weeks does not mean he is having an affair. We are not saying stick your head in the sand but don’t bring trouble to the relationship when it’s not warranted. Either you trust your partner or you don’t. Doubts can put your relationship on the verge of a breakup. Communicate with your partner and work together to alleviate your doubts.

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