This probably sounds weird, but there is a certain ‘naughtiness factor’ when it comes to guilt that can make for some exciting, hot intimacy with your partner.
It’s hard to imagine that guilt is an aphrodisiac, but “guilty pleasures” isn’t just a term for watching a horribly bad movie, or sneaking a piece of chocolate when you know you shouldn’t.
We’re all brought up with social norms. We’re taught that things are naughty, bad, and could bring the withdrawal of approval. When we get close to those edges, we can feel anxiety and fear. Now, guilt can be significant in building a conscious, reminding us of rules and expectations of our communities.
Guilt can keep us “in line,” and take over our lives and convince us that we are “bad people” and stop us from living our lives fully. Guilt is a complex number.
But guilt can also be an aphrodisiac. So some of the best sex can come from feeling a little naughty. It could be as innocuous as breaking into a “Do Not Enter” space to have a quickie. The thrill of breaking the rules can make the experience more intense.
Sneaking off in the middle of the day for sex, sexy texting during meetings, and spending money for our own eroticism can all be guilty pleasures. So can creating time for self-pleasure when you should be doing other things, taking time off to attend a workshop on sexuality when you should spending that money on a new dishwasher.
Even something as small as reading erotic books and not wanting to get caught is a hot guilty pleasure.
There’s nothing like the risk of being ‘found out’ or being with someone somewhere that you shouldn’t be, in a way you ‘shouldn’t’ be, that can turn up the flame.
Booze never tasted so good as during Prohibition.
So you’ve got to figure out what your guilty pleasures are. Make a list of things you should not be doing. Figure out if you could, or would, do those things, and if you could, approach your partner to see if they would be okay with those things.
Sometimes, guilt can be a showstopper when it’s all you can think about — but guilt can also be that perfect spice when added at just the right moments. -C. Sky