Relationships are tough but they are even tougher when a friend meddles in your affairs. We all have that one friend who likes messing with other peoples relationships. She has a strong opinion about your boyfriend and what you should do about your relationship. The bad news is she might not realize that she’s meddling in your relationship by giving her opinionated advice. In her opinion, she’s just helping a friend out. On the other hand, she might know exactly what she’s doing and she’s just jealous that you have a man and she doesn’t or she’s trying to steal your man.
The good news is that you can stop your friend from being nosy and meddling in your relationship regardless of their intentions:
- Make them realize your relationship is between you and your boyfriend ONLY
What your friend probably doesn’t realize is that she is not part of your relationship. She doesn’t know what you and your boyfriend do behind closed doors. As a matter of fact, she doesn’t know every aspect of your relationship…she only sees what you show her.
Mercy says: I had a friend who had been through a series of horrible relationships. She had reached a point where she wasn’t interested in being in a relationship anymore because she’d had it with men. So when I met my boyfriend (who’s now my husband) she constantly threw shade at him. She began filling my head with all these crazy ideas about my man. When I realized that she would eventually break us up if I didn’t put an end to her meddling, I spoke my mind and told her that she didn’t know what my relationship was all about and she needed to deal with her own issues and stop dumping them on my relationship. We are still friends but she now keeps her nose in her business.
- They need to know you are not them
Then there’s the opinionated friend who tries to force her opinion on you.
Susan says: I approached my friend three years ago and told her about an issue I had with my boyfriend. I felt that he was getting comfortable in the relationship and I wanted him to take it to the next level. My friend told me to dump his ass because he was never going to marry me. I, of course, sought a second opinion from another friend who was married and her advice sounded pretty solid so I followed it. So when my other friend found out I hadn’t and wasn’t planning on dumping my boyfriend, she got so upset that I didn’t follow her advice. In fact, she made that very clear in front of my boyfriend and a bunch of friends. I told her that I wasn’t her and I wasn’t necessarily obligated to do what she would do. Later on I came to discover that she was hoping I would dump my boyfriend so she could snatch him up.
- Show them you are happy in your relationship
Sometimes you have that one friend who just won’t stop meddling in your relationship even after you’ve tried talking to them. They just want to talk about the negative aspect of your relationship and keep reminding you of things your boyfriend did to you three years ago even if you’ve moved past them.
Maryanne says: I had a friend who thought relationships were for suckers and she just couldn’t get why I was “wasting” my time trying to make my relationship work. I don’t know what her story was but she needed a therapist to work her shit out because somebody must have beat the joy out of her. It’s like she was content with being bitter and thought all relationships were the same. I eventually told her I didn’t share her sentiments about relationships and she needed to know that I was happy with my relationship even if it had its ups and downs. I also stopped telling her my relationship problems and began sharing only the good things about my relationship with her. She eventually got the hint and stopped meddling.
Please note that if you are in an abusive relationship, your friends have a right to meddle if they genuinely care about your safety. Have you ever had a friend meddle in your affair? How did you handle it? We’d love to know.