Have you been dating a guy for more than a year but you somehow feel the relationship has stagnated? You want to take things to the next level but he seems comfortable with the way things are. Sucks, right? Maybe you want him to marry you or you want him to make the relationship exclusive. Whatever the case, there are tips you can use to make him take the relationship to the next level.
Warning: some of these tips might sound a little counterintuitive.
Don’t be his wife
So he hasn’t put a ring on it but you are acting like his wife? You’re cleaning after him, you’re cooking for him and you are even planning on making a baby with him. Why should he make you his wife when you are already playing the wife part? A man knows whether he wants to spend the rest of his life with you sooner than you think. You don’t have to play the role of a wife to prove to him that you can be a good wife.
Don’t become invested in the guy
This puts a lot of pressure on a guy and he would probably feel pressured. A man can sense you want to take the relationship to the next level and he might withdraw emotionally. So give yourself and the guy room to breathe. If you aren’t engaged then you are not yet exclusive so don’t act like you are. Relax and take your time to figure out if this is the guy you really want to spend the rest of your life with.
Don’t be exclusive
When you date more than one man you won’t feel the urgency of being with one guy. Besides, you are opening yourself up to new opportunities. You might just find a guy who is better than the one you have your eyes on. Please note the keyword here is DATING not SLEEPING around with different men. You should keep on seeing other guys until the guy you think is Mr. Right wants to commit to you.
Don’t try to win him over
Don’t bribe your man to commitment. Buying him gifts, sleeping with him and doing every other thing to convince him to commit to you just won’t work. And don’t try to reason with him either. You can’t talk a guy into commitment; he has to be emotionally invested in the relationship in order to commit.
By the way, you don’t have to rush to his side every time he has the flu or needs someone to hang out with. This will get you put in the mother or friend category and that is the last thing you need.
Tell him what you want
This is the part where you have to be emotionally ready for what his response might be. If you want to get married or become exclusive, you need to tell him. It’s better to find out early enough if he is willing to marry you or not. And please don’t ask him to marry you on the first or second date. You will scare him off. But if you have been dating steadily for six months or more, you should definitely talk to him about commitment. And whatever you do, don’t give him ultimatums.
You might be the CEO of some big corporation or a strong independent woman but you don’t have to be so serious and tough all the time. A guy needs to see your authentic, vulnerable self. If he doesn’t then he won’t be able to open up and connect with you. Just don’t be so vulnerable that it’s easy to get taken advantage of.
Okay, so you have tried all the above and he still won’t commit. That’s okay because you did the best you could…you just weren’t compatible. Be willing to walk away the moment he tells you he is not ready for marriage, he is still keeping his options open or he tells you every other excuse why he is not ready to take your relationship to the next level. Don’t let a man sway you into accepting something less than what you want. If a man loves you and you show him you are not willing to stick around forever, his commitment issues will disappear. written by Jackie K.
If you have tried all the above and still can’t get your man to commit, before walking away there is one more thing to try. This is for ANY woman who is with the man she feels she could spend the rest of her life with… Someone she can really connect with – and he “conveniently” avoids the subject of commitment like the black plague. Life is too short, take control of the situation right now and check this out… Click for more (advertisement)