Dating for single moms can be crazy. If you are a single mom, juggling your career and responsibilities for your children can be stressful. Try adding dating and finding a new man into the mix and everything just becomes insanely crazy. No wonder single moms make some avoidable mistakes when they start dating. We have highlighted a few mistakes here that we hope you won’t make when you feel you are ready to date again.
Waiting too long to get back into the dating game
Getting back to dating is actually much easier when you haven’t been single for too long and there’s a very good reason why. When you stay single for too long, you start getting comfortable and when this happens, you start liking things a certain way. You become rigid and men find it hard to convince you to try new things. You become too complicated and dating you becomes a chore rather than something enjoyable.
We are not saying that you should jump back into the dating scene before you’ve gotten over your breakup. Take your time and heal from your breakup first. Don’t get back into the dating scene carrying baggage from your previous relationship.
Getting back into the dating scene too soon
There really is no rule that says you should get back into the dating scene after a certain amount of time. The circumstances surrounding your breakup will play a huge part in whether you are emotionally ready to start dating again. Give yourself at least a year to get used to being single before you start dating again.
Being exclusive too soon
Nobody said that because you are a single mom from a monogamous relationship you shouldn’t date more than one man at a time. Don’t be afraid to maximize your options by dating more than one guy and have fun while you are at it. Don’t start getting exclusive with a guy unless he brings up the exclusive talk. Don’t also assume that you are in a relationship with a guy until you have discussed which direction your relationship should take.
Assessing a guy’s parenting abilities on the first date
You can’t really tell a guy’s personality on the first date. You are both trying to impress each other. Besides, he might do or say something stupid because he is nervous. This doesn’t mean he isn’t going to be a great father to your kids. On the other hand, he might say and do what you want to hear. That doesn’t mean he will be the best father to your kids.
Expecting a guy to overcompensate for your ex’s short comings
If your ex was a jerk, broke and a cheat, that doesn’t mean that your new man will come with an S on his chest and save you from your frustrations. Let him be his own man. It also doesn’t mean that you should put on a superman cape either. Just keep being good mother to your kids and go with the flow.
Concentrating on what your ex is doing
You broke up with him so don’t worry too much about who he is or isn’t dating as long as he doesn’t introduce someone to your children before discussing it with you. His love life isn’t any of your business. Besides, if you keep following his every move, you will go insane. Just do you and concentrate on getting your love life back on track.
Introducing a guy too soon to your kids
Yes, he seems like a nice guy but that doesn’t mean he should be introduced to your kids. We live in an era where there are child traffickers and pedophiles. Your children’s safety should always come first. That aside, what if your kids became attached to this guy and your relationship doesn’t work out? What will you tell your kids? It won’t be fair to them because they will feel abandoned. So unless you have discussed with your new man about eventually settling down and raising your kids, it’s not recommended that you introduce your kids to him.
If you are a single mom, try as much as you can to avoid making any of these mistakes. And don’t feel guilty about getting back out there. Ask your trusted friends and family members to help you navigate between being a single mom and being a single mom who’s dating. They can offer you emotional support and occasionally baby sit for you in case you need to go out on a date. Being a single mom is tough but you don’t need to do it all on your own.
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