Reasons Why I Avoid Dating a Man With Kids

There’s something really sexy about a guy who takes care of his kids. We are so used to hearing about dads leaving all the baby caring work to the moms so when we see a dad taking care of his kids we can’t help but admire him. But for me admiration is the furthest I can go. A guy with kids is a deal breaker for me and here’s why:

We won’t spend as much time together

The fact that he has kids to take care of means the amount of time he spends with me will be limited. Sometimes he might have to cancel on me because his kid has an emergency or the baby sitter bailed out last minute or his baby mama dropped off the kids at his house unexpectedly. I understand his kids will always come first. I wouldn’t want any guy to put my needs before his kids’ needs but I like spending quality time with my man and I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to enjoy that if I date a guy with kids.

He won’t be able to spend money on me

Before you start labeling me as a gold digger, let me just say that I don’t expect a man to pay my bills but let’s be real here. What woman doesn’t want her man to take her out once in a while on some adventurous activity or an extravagant dinner?

Kids are expensive. You have to pay their tuition, dental care, health care, food, diapers and the list continues. A guy with kids already has to prioritize his money so he most likely won’t take you out often. In fact, you should be prepared to pay for some of your dates. And I get it. A responsible father will always want his kids to have the best life he can afford. I know most of you are saying that we can always go on low cost dates like hikes and picnics or the movies but I would also like it if he spends some money on me too.

We can’t be spontaneous

I like surprises. Sometimes I like going away for the weekend on an unplanned road trip. Sometimes I like surprising my man with a candle lit dinner at his place. Obviously, I can’t do all these things with a guy who has kids. I might just decide to surprise him at his door wearing a trench coat with nothing underneath only for his four year old son to open the door. Not to mention I can’t sleep over at his place and surprise him with breakfast the following morning wearing nothing but an apron. It’s hard to be spontaneous or random when a guy has kids because you’ll be thinking “Let’s do this real quick before the kids get home” or “what if the kids hear us?” or “what if the kids walk in on us?”.

I can’t deal with baby mama drama

I prefer dating guys with less drama in their lives. It’s very rare to find a guy with kids who doesn’t have to deal with baby mama drama. If I decide to get into a relationship with a baby daddy, it means I will have to deal with his ex’s jealous tantrums. I can’t imagine another woman trying to raise my kid so I empathize with the baby mama. Regardless, I’m not ready to deal with that kind of baggage in a relationship so I’d rather steer clear of baby daddies altogether.

I have to deal with the kids

I love kids and I would love to have my own some day. However, kids love seeing their biological parents together. I, on the other hand, will be considered an intruder. I will have to work extra hard to win over the kids and I’ll have to exercise some patience. But winning them over is just a fraction of the work that’s involved. We have to work out how to raise the kids and deal with their biological mother too. And what about when I have my own kids? Will they all get along or will there be jealousy issues?

And these are just some of the things that make me lose interest in dating baby daddies. There are of course perks to dating a guy with kids and I know some of you don’t mind dating them at all. At the end of the day it’s really all about what makes you happy.