So you’ve dated a couple of guys for some time now and you can’t really seem to find a guy who wants a long term relationship with you. You decide to take a step back to try and find out what the problem could be. As you sit curled up on your couch watching reruns of Sex and the City an “aha” moment pops in your head. You’re thinking “Mr. Big and Carrie Bradshaw aren’t taking things to the next level because Carrie is dating an unavailable man”.
Now you know what to do; you will stop dating unavailable men. Yeah, if only it was that easy. If you are dating unavailable men, it’s because you too are unavailable. You attract what you are. Still in doubt? Here are telltale signs that you are an emotionally unavailable woman.
- Available guys aren’t that interesting to you
You want what you can’t have. Available guys are boring and you don’t think they are amazing. Okay, so maybe they ask you out on real dates, they bring you flowers, they pull chairs and open doors for you and they genuinely would like to know you better but that doesn’t appeal to you. When a guy shows you affection, the first thing that comes to mind is “desperate loser”.
If you feel this way about available men then there is something wrong with you. Here’s why:
You think you are unworthy of true love and if someone looks like they want to get to know you, you subconsciously consider them to be a threat. Work on loving and accepting yourself and those available men will start becoming interesting.
- You are looking for Mr. Perfect
He has to be tall, has to be a billionaire, has to live in Hollywood, he has to look like Boris Kodjoe, he has to read your mind, etc. You are not attracted to normal guys. You are so stuck on what a perfect guy should be that you can’t give normal guys a chance to show you real love. Perfect guys only exist in three places; Mills and Boon, Telenovelas and in your dreams.
There is no perfect person. You might fall in love with a guy who looks like Boris Kodjoe but he could be a jerk or a player. He might be a billionaire but he is short, balding and with a potbelly. He might read your mind and perhaps anticipate your needs but he doesn’t live in Hollywood. That’s the unfortunate thing about love….it’s impossible to find the perfect guy.
- It’s hard for you to let down your guard
You are never yourself around people. What you let your friends see is not what you let your family or boyfriends see. You have so many different sides to you that if you were told to be yourself you’d have a hard time recognizing who you are. You are constantly worried that if you showed the guys in your life who you really are, they would never accept you.
If you want to make your relationships work, you have to be willing to stop compartmentalizing all the different aspects of yourself. Besides, don’t you think it’s just tiring to keep all the different parts of your life separate?
- Bailing out of relationships is a piece of cake for you
So you meet this guy at your favorite coffee place and you immediately hit it off. You like the way he just “gets” you and you can definitely see a future with him. But like every other relationship, you quickly find out you are not on the same page on a lot of things.
In fact, now that you think about it, you hate how forgetful he is. So when problems make their way into your relationship, you run. The thought of doing what you can to maintain the relationship strikes fear in your heart so you opt to just cut and run.
- You are a commitment phobe
Here’s the thing about commitment phobes: they are not just afraid to commit to relationships, they are also afraid to commit to goals, jobs and plans. We understand that making a commitment is a huge deal because it means you are willing to stick around no matter what. This obviously limits you and you hate being in such a position.
There are many guys who like you and you like them but you are afraid of committing to one of them. Maybe it’s because you are not confident they are the right person for you or you’re afraid the relationship might fail but keeping your options open isn’t a great idea. At the end of the day, you might not have any options at all.
Can you relate with any of these five signs? If you do then you probably are emotionally unavailable and you need to rectify the situation as soon as possible if you want to build fruitful relationships. by: Jackie K.
MUST SEE VIDEO! This is for ANY woman who is with the man she feels she could spend the rest of her life with… Someone she can really connect with – and he “conveniently” avoids the subject of commitment like the black plague…
Seriously, this is like “jump starting” his commitment to you, and getting things going in the right direction once and for all. Life is too short, take control of the situation right now and check this out… Click for more (advertisement)