We have met the enemy, and he is us.” -Walt Kelly
I used to have a gift for attracting the losers women affectionately refer to as bad boys. And I found those losers attractive.
Oh, I how I loved bad boys!
Despite the tears and sleepless nights they caused, they never bored me. They gave me plenty to talk about with my friends over a slice and coke at Nick’s Pizza. But mostly they made me miserable. Nervous. Jealous. Sad. Paranoid.
Still, I spent months daydreaming that by offering a sparkling insight, by putting on a sexy dress, or by telling a hilarious joke, they’d see me for the incredible woman I was. And I’d change them. They’d stop cheating, drinking, skipping work, or whatever their particular problem was — and transform into Prince Charming.
I would rescue them. I would.
After years of this nonsense, it finally dawned on to me to stop dating until I attracted a man who would be a positive influence in my life and contribute to my happiness. Instead of taking away from it. That’s right; He would have to make me smile more than he made me cry. I stopped trying to rehabilitate losers. I ceased being Florence Nightingale to guys who refused to help themselves.