What to Do When Your Child and Your New Boyfriend Clash

You have finally found the man of your dreams. You love spending time with him. You enjoy every moment together, and you already see yourselves as the perfect family. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, does not share your love and affection for your child. He might like your offspring, but he would be just as happy if the little darling spent more time at Grandma’s house, and your child would be just as happy if your new boyfriend got a job out of town. So what do you do when your new boyfriend and your child just don’t see eye to eye? Here are some ideas.

#1. Talk to Your Child

Get your child’s perspective on the situation and make that your priority. Your child might be feeling resentful of the new man in the house, especially if he is close to his biological father.

#2. Break It Off at Once if There are Signs of Abuse

Chances are what you are looking at is just a clash of personalities, but it could be something more. If there are any signs of abuse, either physical or emotional, you owe it to your child to break it off at once. No guy is worth damaging the physical and mental well-being of your son or daughter.

#3. Talk to your Boyfriend

Spend some time talking to your boyfriend one on one. It may take time to break through the armor and find out what is really going on, but it is important. Is your boyfriend feeling resentful of your child, or does he feel neglected? Are there conflicts between your new boyfriend and the child’s father? Getting to the heart of the matter is essential.

#4. Seek Out Common Ground

Your boyfriend and your child may have more in common than they realize. He may not share your son’s love of soccer, but he just might harbor a love of video games. Look for things your boyfriend and your child can do together. It will bring them closer.

#5. Spend Time as a Couple

You have kids, so you understand the realities of parenting. Your boyfriend may not share the same perspective. Where you see an adorable child, he sees a screaming toddler. Chances are he does not think that an outing to the zoo is a perfect date. If things are feeling tense, you can always hire a babysitter and enjoy a special night as a couple.

#6. Set Up a Monthly Kid Night

While spending time together as a couple is important, so is spending some time as a family. Set up a monthly date that is just for your child. Whether it is a trip to the circus or a kid-friendly concert, the bonding time is important for your boyfriend and  your son or daughter.

#7. Set Boundaries

You love your child, but you are still the boss. Set boundaries for good behavior and make sure they are followed. Things like interfering with your dates, arguing with your boyfriend and attempting to get between you should not be tolerated. You and your boyfriend need time to get to know one another, and you need time to be a good mom.

#8. Maintain Ties to the Biological Father

If the biological father is a total jerk or an absent parent, there may not be much  you can do. If he is at least a decent human being, it is important to maintain ties with your child. Make it clear to your boyfriend that the dad is part of your child’s life. If he can’t accept that basic fact, you may want to rethink your relationship.


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