When You Choose Love Over Comfort

You probably realize the best way to stay out of debt and avoid bankruptcy is to never spend more money than you make.

But it’s easier to convince yourself that it’s okay and just put it on a credit card, making payments later.

You could write, learn a new language, master an instrument, with a little patience and practice. But motivating yourself to put in the work necessary to achieve these feats is much harder than binge-watching House of Cards on Netflix.

Likewise, you could have an incredibly passionate relationship with a committed partner… or you can stay safe and in your comfort zone and forfeit the love you truly crave.

You’d rather think up excuses for being busy with work or taking care of someone (kids, parents, friends even) than make the extra effort to plan a romantic date.

You’d rather turn down someone’s advances because you’re not in the mood than entertain the idea of compromises and potential hurt.

Rather than looking like a fool, you don’t want to take the risk and wait for the other person to make the first move.

You’d rather watch a movie than come up with well-thought out questions that inspire meaningful conversations.

You’d rather scream and walk away from a conversation, slam the door behind you than listen compassionately, show understanding or forgiveness.

If your partner is into BDSM, you’d rather read 50 Shades than books that could educate you on what’s involved in being a good BDSM partner or even if it’s something you would be willing to do.

In short, you’d rather be comfortable in your little life than risk opening up and possibly falling in love.

Ed Foreman said “Winners are those people who make a habit of doing the things losers are uncomfortable doing.”

If this sounds like you and you want to break free of this lethargic cycle to find love, you’ve got to accept that you’re going to be uncomfortable.
You have to reach out. You have to constantly recommit yourself, educate yourself, improve yourself, dig deeper, give more, and practice practice practice.

Let yourself behave awkwardly or maybe even look foolish.

Whenever venturing into new territory, or trying to help yourself grow, you will experience a learning curve… and that can be really awkward.

It’s like when you attend your first dance in junior high. You’re too terrified to even make contact with someone, let alone ask anyone to dance.

The trouble is, it takes practice to feel less and less awkward in these situations. Giving yourself permission to be awkward and looking foolish allows you a chance to grow, and be more sure of yourself. You won’t be good at something new the first time you do it, after all.

You’ll wobble on your bike and crash a few times before you get the hang of riding a two-wheeler. You’ll make some really ugly cupcakes, and weird tasting cookies before you can open your own bakery. You’ll write some really horrible blog posts before you become an author.

Likewise, you may have some really awkward and funny experiences in the bedroom before you master sex with your partner.

So much so that it may make you feel like an idiot trying to change the way you listen and communicate.

But people who are willing to look stupid and feel uncomfortable are the ones that will experience the kind of love you’ll only fantasize about otherwise.

So figure out what you can do today to make yourself uncomfortable? How can you embrace your awkward self?  Ask yourself what are you really committed to, love or being comfortable? – C. Sky